I was happy with our wedding venue until I found my husband-to-be’s old pics – he says I’m overreacting but it’s odd
A BRIDE-to-be has been going head to head about her wedding venue with her future husband.
She was first originally happy with the location and felt it was “special” after having both agreed on it.
But six months after agreeing to their venue, she discovered that he had already previously been married his ex-wife.
The news only came to light after the bride-to-be trawled through her partner’s old Facebook pictures and found an old wedding photo of him at the same venue.
She took to online forum Mumsnet to express her concern, and first explained that they both booked their wedding venue around six months ago after “mutually deciding on a venue that is special to us.”
The bride-to-be wrote: “I’ve just found out that his wedding to his first wife was in the same place, having stumbled across an old wedding photo of his.
“It must have been a special place for him and his ex-wife too! I haven’t mentioned it as I don’t know if I’m wrong in thinking it is strange to choose the same venue?
Since posting her query, the bride-to-be was inundated with people sharing their views with many believing that her husband’s choice of action was a “bit strange.”
Another added: “Agree!
“And he should have told you his previous wedding was in the same venue!”
Another added: “I think it’s a bit strange. The people on his side will probably find it a bit odd I think.
“I wouldn’t like to have photos taken knowing that there will be ones in the exact same spot with the first wife. That might just be me though.
“It will be hard for others not to compare the two weddings I think, if they also went to the first one.”
Someone else simply wrote: “It’s really weird.”
Another Mumsnet user also commented about a similar experience.
They wrote: “Yes. I know someone who did this.
Really weird
“All the family and friends on his side were the same. It was like deja vu. And somehow made the wedding vows sound less sincere as he had literally stood in the exact same spot making the same promises to someone else.
“To make matters worse, his second wife had the same first name as his first wife and afterwards took his surname. So same first name, same surname, same venue, same guests. Very strange.”
Most of the commenters were baffled, and wondered what other guests would be thinking.
One wrote: “Very strange. Presumably some of the guests will have been invited to both – that on its own would be enough for me not to want this.”
How to pick the perfect wedding venue
By Josie Griffiths, deputy digital Fabulous editor and bride-to-be
When I got engaged in April 2023, picking a venue was at the top of my to-do list. After all, you can’t plan anything else until that’s locked in.
And, knowing we wanted to tie the knot on a Saturday the following summer, time was of the essence – so we had our venue reserved within three weeks.
Here’s my top tips for finding the perfect venue with minimal stress:
- Figure out what sort of venue you want – there’s loads of options, church wedding, manor house, castle, town hall, something abroad, rustic barn, or a marquee in a field. Think about the weddings you’ve already been to, what appealed to you and what didn’t, then use Instagram and Pinterest for inspiration.
- Set your budget – a quick Google will tell you the average wedding costs £20k, but some of the places I looked at cost more than that for the venue alone. Make sure you know how much you can actually afford to spend before you go too far down the garden path.
- Pick a location – our families live 230 miles apart (roughly a 5-hour drive) so we quickly cut out places we felt were too far for my fiance’s side, then nailed in on quite a specific location with multiple venues to choose from.
- Look on a wedding database – there’s loads of good ones out there now, my favourite is Hitched, where you can compare tons of venues and get the basic info on things like the venue cost and rules, something they normally don’t mention on their own websites. That way you’ve already cut down your choices before you start making enquiries.
- Don’t get swayed by trends – go with what YOU want as a couple, the current viral trend won’t even make sense when you look back on your photos in 10 or 20 years time.
- Think about decorations – one of the deciding factors for our venue was the fact that it needed very little decorating, as the venue rooms spoke for themselves. Yes we paid a bit more for a stunning venue, but we were able to cut back on flowers, table decorations and wall features as a result.
- Go with your gut – you could spend ages weighing up the options but, speaking from experience, wedding planning is hugely time consuming and it’s often best to pull the trigger when you’re 80% convinced. Plus it’s a competitive business, and waiting too long could make you lose out.
But others suggested that it could be down to the groom’s lack of creativity.
“I think he’s probably just unimaginative,” said a Mumsnet user.
“I think it’s weird and wrong but I can imagine loads of men thinking, oh that was a decent enough place, may as well use it again.”
The bride-to-be later returned to the social media thread to comment more of her thoughts.
She wrote: “Thank you so much for all your quick responses.
“Not just me then, I’m going to have to talk to him about it.
“From what I can see he and his first wife got married in a different building in the same garden.
“The photo backdrops would be the same as it’s obviously the same garden. I think (Hope) the reception venue is also different, but I’m not sure, I’ll need to ask him.”