I haven’t shaved in 10 years – men refuse to date me & even my Dad won’t hug me but I love it
A woman who hasn’t shaved in 10 years has revealed how men refuse to date her because she is “too hairy”.
Zoe Zwetsloot made the decision to stop shaving completely following an operation, where she was unable to do so.
The 31-year-old then started to question the benefits of removing bodily hair and the social stigma around women being “hairy”.
Now, she’s embracing her natural body – even though it’s become a “turn off” when finding love.
“I’ve had men say I’d have to shave my hair if I wanted to be in a relationship with them,” the mum-of-three said.
“It’s also created a bit of a barrier between myself and other males when I go into town to dance.
“I’ve even been asked: ‘Does the carpet match the drapes?’
“Even my father refused to hug me at points because he didn’t want the hair to touch him.
“I would also hide my armpit hair in job interviews.
“In the beginning I was most definitely rattled that my body could cause such strong emotions in another person.
“However, these days, I find it is almost like a litmus test to help me remove bigots and discriminating people from my life.”
Zoe, from Auckland, New Zealand, has also experienced her fair share of comments from “trolls”.
She said: “At first, I was self conscious.
“Eventually, I begun to forget I had hairy armpits until others brought it up.
“More because I would be frustrated that people would comment on my hairy armpits.
“Like I wasn’t aware that I was hairy and it felt like unspoken expectation of that I would be thankful and remove the hair.”
Currently, in a bid to feel empowered and to make a statement, she either bleaches or dye her armpits different colours.
Zoe said: “Once I dyed them adults stopped commenting on them, and kids would occasionally ask me why I dyed them bright colours.
“I would say for fun, or to make a statement if they were old enough.
“[I’ve gone] from being a woman who would adhere to social norms; shaving, wearing makeup, bleaching my hair and wearing trendy clothes, to being a woman who loves all part of myself fiercely.
Love yourself for every scar, wobble and stretch mark.
Zoe Zwetsloot
“To transition from feeling uncomfortable when others were disgusted with my body hair to simply leaving the relationship has been such a positive experience.
“It has helped me create emotionally safe and supportive connections.”
Zoe always says to be confident in your body the way it is and not to let anyone else get in the way.
She added: “Love yourself for every scar, wobble and stretch mark.
Benefits of body hair
For decades, women have been shaving their body hair, but is there actually any benefits to the hair?
Well, sort of.
Between the ages of 10-12 for girls and 11-14 for boys, hormones called androgens are triggered by the pituitary gland. This triggers the apocrine sweat glands to begin functioning – this is the gland that’s associated with armpits and the public area.
Vellus hair follicles you have in childhood to help your body regulate it’s temperature become ‘terminal’ meaning they become thicker and darker in colour.
Leaving the hair in place means you’re pheromones – a chemical that plays a role in sexual attraction – can fester there. According to Healthline: “By leaving the armpit hair intact, you’re helping trap odor, since moisture (sweat) attaches to hair. This makes the pheromones even stronger.”
Other benefits include no friction during physical activity such as running or walking, and it can prevent some health conditions such as
- ingrown hairs
- razor burn
- armpit pimples
- skin tags
- skin irritation
“When someone is physically comfortable and confident in their own body, it becomes easier to accept and love the differences in others.
“Also, just try it.
“You can cut it off at any time and hide most of your body hair while you adjust to your new appearance.
“It helps to challenge your own inner feelings around how capitalism and the patriarchy desire both men and women to appear.
“You also save money on razors –and time in the shower.”