Mum sparks furious debate saying parents should ‘give your child a tablet and leave us in peace’ when out in public
WE all know the sinking feeling of settling in to a long commute only to hear a child throwing a tantrum nearby.
Whether you can sympathise with the parent or not, it’s never ideal to have to listen to incessant toddler screams.
In a post on Mumsnet, one woman sparked a debate as she shared her recent commuting experience.
“Second long train journey this weekend and yet again a whole carriage having to put up with loud, noisy, whining kids,” she wrote.
The poster described the situation as less than ideal, calling the children’s loud nature “grating.”
She explained that “there [was] hours to go” on her journey and the noise didn’t appear to be subsiding.
“Parents just don’t seem bothered,” the irritated woman wrote in her post.
She said her fellow commuters were also visibly annoyed by the situation.
“[The] rest of the carriage [were] sharing looks, rolling eyes, and sighing,” she explained.
However, the angry poster’s solution received mixed reactions from other Mumsnet users.
“Just give them tablets and headphones and the rest of us some peace and quiet,” she wrote.
She added that placing your child in front of any screen is better than having them disrupt those around you.
Readers debated the practicality of the solution in the comments section.
“Totally agree. Children should be seen and not heard! How very dare they be childlike while travelling on public transport!” joked one person.
“Well done to the parents [for] not giving their children screens and headphones when out and about,” said another Mumsnet user.
“There is plenty of time for that when they are in their teens, suck it up and let children be children.”
“Get yourself some headphones and a tablet?” suggested a third person.
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BATTLING BOREDOM: Despite hours of activities and playdates, if your kids are already complaining there’s nothing to do, parenting expert Liat Hughes Joshi says: “Don’t feel you have to organise every second of the holidays. Kids benefit from boredom and learn to make their own fun.
“Boredom can trigger creative and imaginative play but you need to encourage kids to get used to not being told how to spend their time.
“Ride out the pleas of boredom. Counter it with comments such as, ‘What do you think you could do?’ and maybe have a list of ‘I’m bored’ activity ideas on the fridge.”
SCREEN OVERLOAD: It’s tempting during the holidays to rely on a digital babysitter but don’t let them gawp their whole summer away in front of a screen.
Liat says: “It’s unfair to expect older kids to power down but it’s important to set some ground rules.
“Set family tech rules together. If you’re often distracted by your phone, follow the rules too. Maybe tell the kids they aren’t allowed any screen time until they’ve done set chores, some exercise, or a board game.
“Are there times when you’d like to ban screens completely? Perhaps during dinner or when they have friends over to visit.
“Tech is a battleground for parents, but you have to set boundaries. Stand firm and be prepared to be unpopular.”
TOO MUCH TOGETHERNESS: You love your kids, but being with them 24/7 can be exhausting. Do not feel guilty if you need a bit of downtime.
Liat says: “If you’re juggling work and household tasks as well as occupying the kids, it’s normal to start feeling overwhelmed or jaded and in need of some peace.
“If you can’t afford or don’t want to send your kids to all-day camps, look for free kids’ workshops so you can get on with jobs or have a break for a couple of hours.
“Seeking a spell of quiet every now and then doesn’t make you a bad parent — in fact it will probably make you more positive and enthusiastic when you are with the kids.”
SCHEDULING CONFLICT: Schedules can go out the window during holidays, but late nights and early mornings can mean tired and unhappy children.
Dr Tamara Bugembe, paediatrician and founder of Helperbees.co.uk says: “Children get grumpy, test boundaries and become challenging when routines are broken.
“Sticking to some kind of routine during the holidays is a good idea.
“We release hormones at different times of the day and when regular meal times and bed times are broken, it causes dips and peaks in mood.
“Holidays are about having fun but an early night once or twice a week will make everyone happier.”
EXCESS ENERGY: Make sure kids get out in the fresh air to tire them out — and make them healthier and happier.
Dr Bugembe says: “Sunshine also tops up vital vitamin D levels which helps improve bone strength and energy levels in children. Our levels run low in winter so let the kids stock up in warmer weather.
“Letting them run around in shorts and a T-shirt is the best way to top up. Make sure they’re wearing sun cream, get outside and have fun.
“Encourage them to try healthy habits such as cycling and walking. They’ll hopefully get hooked and want to carry them on when the weather gets colder.”
However, other readers agreed that it is on parents to do more to prevent these situations.
“If your children are being noisy and disturbing everyone around them, which is pretty normal behaviour for many kids, parents should engage the kids,” one person said.
“Letting the kids disturb lots of people in a crowded setting is not great.
“No harm in a good movie or a game on the iPad for a couple of hours.”
“It seems an increasingly noticeable proportion of idiots are raising antisocial little s**ts,” wrote another Mumsnet user.
“What’s happening in the train is not good parenting, but shoving kids in front of screens to keep them quiet isn’t good parenting either,” pointed out one commenter.