One in three Brits find it hard to strike up a conversation with a stranger – 5 tips to get chatting
AS we get older it can become more difficult to approach new people and make friends.
Unfortunately, asking someone their favourite colour stops becoming a suitable opening once you leave primary school.
A poll of 2,000 adults found that 45% wouldn’t know what to say to someone they didn’t know, with 42% simply lacking confidence.
While many people struggle with self-assurance in these situations, others cited the worry of how they would come across.
According to the survey, 32% of fear they would seem intrusive if they approached a group of strangers.
It also emerged 56% believe there is a cultural stigma around talking to someone they don’t know, despite 54% admitting they want to meet new people.
And 61% believe the nation should be more open to talking with people they don’t know.
The research was commissioned by Beavertown Brewery as it aims to help tackle the social challenge with its “Is This Seat Taken?” campaign.
This involves placing bright blue, skull-clad stools in pubs that encourage punters to sit with new people and introduce themselves with a simple “cheers.”
“Approaching someone you don’t know can be nerve-wracking, but every relationship we’ve ever had started with a conversation,” said brand spokesperson Tom Rainsford.
“The pub can be a great place to meet new people and have a good chat.
“To help, we want to offer a new way for people to break the ice and connect over a pint – even if it’s just a quick cheers – because who knows, it could be the start of a beautiful friendship.”
The study also found that three is the average group size someone would feel comfortable approaching to strike up a conversation for the very first time.
With 65% of people surveyed citing the weather as the best conversation starter.
Pets and travel, at 31% and 24% respectively, making up the top trio of the best ice breakers.
Dog walks, work events, and bus stops were among the best places to do this.
Pubs ranked second on the list of places for meeting new friends as an adult, with 48% of people agreeing.
Tips on how to approach strangers
Katherine Templar Lewis, a cognitive scientist and science communicator specialising in emotions, shared her advice for striking up conversation with strangers.
1. Always make eye contact: When you make eye contact with someone, you give them the signal that they can trust you, this will allow them to open up.
2. Don’t forget to smile: Smiling increases mood-enhancing hormones, such as dopamine and endorphins, while decreasing stress-enhancing hormones, including cortisol, and adrenaline.
3. Take part in a ritual: Rituals bring people together, even everyday ones, such as making a cup of tea or the British ‘cheers.’ They have a bonding effect and impact on our well-being.
4. Make small talk: Questions such as “Where have you come from?”, “What brought you here?”, and “How are you finding the weather?” find points of shared interest and show your interest.
5. Own the awkward: Remember that this feeling comes from your brain trying to play it safe. Push on, focus on the positive outcomes, keep going, and soon your body will realise their is no threat.
But 26% can’t remember the last time they had a proper chat with someone they weren’t familiar with.
And 43% have never started a conversation with a stranger in a pub, as they would feel awkward, 59%, or shy, 36%.
Among those who have had conversations with strangers in pubs, two thirds feel these interactions are always or often welcomed.
The research, carried out via OnePoll, also found 54% are eager to meet more people in general.
But 37% generally find it difficult to do this and form a friendship thereafter.
Katherine Templar Lewis, a cognitive scientist and science communicator specialising in emotions, connection, and behavioural psychology has teamed up with Beavertown Brewery to help.
“In an age where loneliness is on the rise, we must remember that humans are inherently social creatures,” she explained.
“We’ve evolved to thrive in communities, and our bodies and minds benefit immensely from genuine social connections.
“By encouraging people to share a table, introduce themselves, and raise a glass together, we’re not just combating loneliness – we’re reviving the age-old tradition of the pub as a community hub.”