I fantasise about women during sex – am I bisexual?

DEAR DEIDRE: NOBODY  knows I’m bisexual – and I want to keep it like that.

I’ve only ever dated men and I’m in a serious relationship with a guy, but I have started becoming attracted to women too.

I’m 34 and my boyfriend is 32. We’ve been together happily for five years.

I think there’s nothing wrong with liking people of the same sex, but I don’t understand these feelings.

It’s been happening for about a year. I’ll see a woman and think how beautiful she is, and then imagine kissing her. 

Or, while having sex with my boyfriend, I’ll fantasise  I’m in bed with a woman instead. Afterwards, I’ll feel guilty.

I’ve never acted on my feelings – and I won’t, because I love my boyfriend, and would never cheat. 

But they’re making me very confused.  Surely I’d know by now if I was bisexual?

DEIDRE SAYS: Many people experience same-sex attraction and there’s nothing to feel guilty about. 

It’s not cheating. I’m sure you’ve been attracted to other men, who aren’t your boyfriend, too.

Sexuality isn’t set in stone. Many people see it as being on a continuum. 

Some  know from an early age they have feelings for both sexes. Others realise this later, or are  attracted to individuals. 

Talking to someone who understands will help your confusion. See my support pack, Bisexual Questions.