Will a sex ban boost your love life to whether bigger really is better…. Sun sexpert separates the facts from fiction
GROWING up, our ideas about sex often come from a confusing mix of unrealistic movies and sex education classes at school.
No wonder much of what we know is just a blend of half-truths and myths.
This week, social psychologist Dr Justin Lehmiller debunked one major belief that banning footballers and Olympic athletes from having sex before big events improves their performance . . . in their chosen sport.
Dr Lehmiller told a BBC podcast: “It’s a myth. A lot of it resides in superstition.”
Remember England manager Fabio Capello’s 2010 World Cup sex ban for players?
Or those “anti-sex” beds made of flimsy cardboard at this year’s Olympic Village in Paris?
It is all based on outdated beliefs rather than fact.
Sex is often surrounded by myths that can lead to misunderstandings, misinformation and unhealthy attitudes towards the act.
Here, Sun Sexpert Georgette Culley tackles other common sex myths – and gives the real facts . . .
MYTH: SEX TOYS ARE CHEATING
FACT: Many women use them secretly because their boyfriends get jealous, thinking it’s “cheating”.
Sex toys can boost your relationship, not hurt it.
Considering that 75-90 per cent of women can’t orgasm from penetration alone, adding a vibrator to the mix can really help many of them get over the finishing line.
So, instead of feeling guilty, ladies, invite your partner to join in.
It is all about enhancing pleasure and keeping the spark alive in the bedroom.
MYTH: MEN THINK ABOUT SEX ALL OF THE TIME
FACT: It is true that men may think about sex often, but the old idea that they think about it “every seven seconds” is an exaggeration.
On average, men do think about sex more frequently than women, studies have shown.
But this varies vastly between individuals.
Some men may think about sex several times a day, while others may not think about it as often.
MYTH: SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION IS RARE FOR WOMEN
FACT: Between 30 and 50 per cent of sexually active women suffer from sexual dysfunction.
This includes issues such as low libido, trouble reaching orgasm and pain during sex.
These problems are far more common than many people realise and can seriously affect a woman’s relationships and wellbeing.
Don’t suffer in silence – getting the right medical and therapeutic support is the key to improving sexual health and satisfaction.
MYTH: ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION ONLY HITS MEN OVER 70
FACT: While erectile dysfunction is more common in older men, it can occur at any age.
One in four men who suffer erection problems are under 40, including a quarter of men in their twenties.
Erectile dysfunction in men can be caused by a wide range of factors, including low testosterone, heart disease, diabetes, obesity, depression and anxiety.
In younger men, psychological problems, such as performance anxiety, are the most likely cause.
MYTH: PORN IS LIKE REAL SEX
FACT: Mainstream pornography, let alone extreme versions, often portrays unrealistic scenarios, body types and behaviours.
Relying on porn as a sexual education source can lead to skewed perceptions and expectations.
But not all porn is bad.
Ethical porn, sometimes called feminist porn, offers a more realistic portrayal of female pleasure and can be a valuable resource.
It is designed with consent and authenticity in mind, making it a great tool for those looking to learn new techniques or find inspiration.
MYTH: SEX DRIVE DECREASES AS YOU GET OLDER
FACT: Women’s sexual appetite does not disappear after menopause.
While desire may shift with age, it doesn’t vanish for everyone.
In fact, many women report better sex in their later years.
Why? With age comes confidence – women know what they want and aren’t afraid to ask for it.
So menopause doesn’t mark the end of a satisfying sex life.
And for many, it is just the start of their best years in bed.
MYTH: SEX TALK KILLS THE MOOD
FACT: Many couples are too shy to discuss their desires but communication is the secret to a happy sex life.
Research shows that couples who talk openly about their wants, boundaries, and preferences in bed enjoy better sex and stronger relationships.
By discussing what you like and don’t like, you foster better understanding and intimacy, strengthening your bond both in and out of the bedroom.
MYTH: BIGGER IS ALWAYS BETTER
FACT: As the saying goes, “It’s the motion of the ocean, not the size of the boat”.
Most vaginal nerve endings are in the first few inches, so size isn’t as critical as it is made out to be.
Technique, emotional connection and communication play huge roles.
Interestingly, what women consider the “right” size varies depending on the situation and the person.
While many women tend to prefer a penis close to six inches when erect, that doesn’t mean it is a one-size-fits-all scenario.
It is all about what feels right for you and your partner.