I feel more like my husband’s carer than his wife

DEAR DEIDRE: EVER since my husband’s health took a turn for the worse, I’ve felt more like his carer than his wife. 

Whether I’m giving him medication, helping him walk around the house, or driving him to hospital appointments, our relationship has been reduced and I’ve had enough.

I’m 62, my husband is 67, and we’ve been married for 35 years. 

Our lives were turned upside down when he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and osteoarthritis back to back.

Ever since our marriage hasn’t been the same, and his health has plummeted. 

While initially I didn’t mind caring for him, I don’t think I truly understood the burden I’d have to bear. 

Now it’s been years since we were last intimate, and I find myself questioning if I even love him anymore.

Everything in me is telling me to leave, but I feel so guilty.

DEIDRE SAYS: Becoming a carer to the person you love is a very big change, so it’s understandable how difficult this must be for you to cope with.

Even with the strongest relationships, caring for a partner can build feelings of frustration and resentment and ultimately put a strain on your relationship.

Before you give up on him, talk to him and tell him how you feel. Express how much this is impacting you and that you want to work on getting closer again.

My support pack Looking After Your Relationship will help. 

Carers need a lot of support also, so do have a look at Carers UK (carersuk.org) for practical support.