I orgasmed while giving birth – it was like a firework going off, there’s no shame & I teach other women how to do it

LOVISA DAHL, 39, a Birth Preparation Mentor, lives in Spain with her husband Pelle, 53, a property manager, and their three children.

“Picture childbirth, and you’ll probably think of a woman’s waters breaking, the mad rush to the hospital and, above all, the pain.

But I know it doesn’t have to be that way. I had incredible orgasms during childbirth – and I want other women to know they can, too.

Pelle and I got together in May 2015, and I became pregnant with our first child on Valentine’s Day 2016.

We married that July and, shortly after, a friend recommended a documentary called Orgasmic Birth.

Like most first-time mums, I was approaching labour with trepidation.

However, as Pelle and I watched the documentary and heard that a woman’s ability to feel intense pleasure during childbirth is ‘the best-kept secret’, I reassessed everything I thought I knew.

It made sense when you reflect on how a baby is born via the sexual organs, coming into contact with the G-spot and clitoris.

During childbirth, you also have an increase in oxytocin – the love hormone that helps you bond with the baby.

It was so inspiring, but I didn’t feel like I’d be lucky enough to have that experience, especially as I often struggled to orgasm during sex.

Still, it gave me the confidence to choose a home birth with a midwife. In December 2016, I went into labour.

I didn’t have any pain relief and, while the contractions were challenging, I never felt overwhelmed – but neither did I feel remotely orgasmic.

After 22 hours, our daughter Bumi was born, weighing 6lb 5oz.

Three years later, at 33, I became pregnant again.

This time, I’d researched orgasmic birth more and I knew I needed my body to be as relaxed as possible.

I chose the mantra: ‘I’m as soft as cotton,’ and in my third trimester had nightly baths scented with lavender.

I planned to use that scent in labour to help me relax.

Rama was born weighing 7lb, and while the experience was ecstatic, I didn’t have a physical orgasm this time.

By my third pregnancy, in September 2023, when I was 37, I was even more prepared.

In the lead-up, I told the midwife I was hoping for an orgasmic birth and she was very supportive, explaining she’d heard about them but never seen one.

As well as all the steps I’d taken with previous births, I made a list of things I’d like Pelle to do during labour, from loving words to caresses.

This time, it happened – a huge orgasm during labour, like a firework going off.

The second climax, a few minutes later, happened just as our son Vayu was being born.

Holding our baby, who weighed 7lb 7oz, I felt incredible.

My midwife, who arrived just after our home birth, said because of my second orgasm and the lubrication it created, I’d avoided any tearing.

I’d promised myself that if I had an orgasmic birth, I was going to speak about it.

I knew it wouldn’t be easy – many women experience distress in labour and I didn’t want to make them feel like they’d somehow failed.

This subject can make people feel uncomfortable, but the fact is, birth is sexual – what gets the baby in will get the baby out.

When I made a post online about my orgasmic birth, one friend asked if we should really talk about it in this way when most women experience pain.

However, that’s exactly why we need to talk about it.

There’s shame in talking about pleasure in childbirth, so these stories are not being told.

‘EMPOWERED’

A month after Vayu was born, I started training to become an orgasmic birth practitioner.

I qualified in January 2024 and, so far, I’ve worked with five women, teaching everything from breathing techniques to connect with the vagina through to the importance of pleasuring touch.

I’ve also spoken about orgasmic birth on podcasts, at festivals and I’ve given a TEDx Talk.

In the years to come, I hope to help many more mothers-to-be.

I want to remove the shame around pleasure in childbirth, and for women to feel empowered – I know first-hand that orgasms can make that happen.”