Loot Recap: Billionaire Besties
Maya Rudolph and Ana Gasteyer get to goof around as divorced billionaires for a half-hour, and, predictably, it’s amazing.
Last week, Loot ended with a bit of a shock to Molly’s system: Her plans to take Space for Everyone national would be hindered by one minor detail — she doesn’t have enough money for that. It sounds wild, but it’s true! Nicholas assumes this means they’re closing up shop at the Wells Foundation effective immediately, but only in his dreams. When Molly tells him they aren’t giving up just yet, he addresses the group: “Fine, but could you at least all try to be a little more interesting? Is that too much to ask?” He remains the meanest sweetheart on TV. Regardless, for the first time in decades, Molly has a money problem! Sofia and Molly come up with one solution, perhaps the only solution: They’re going to need to recruit other billionaires to the cause.
After a slideshow of some elderly-men billionaires as potential targets that will haunt your nightmares for as long as you walk this earth, Sofia brings up a picture of a familiar face — both to Molly (it’s her old friend Grace) and to us (it’s Ana Gasteyer!). I mean, how lucky are we to watch two comedy icons, SNL royalty, goof around as divorced billionaires in fabulous caftans for a half-hour? The luckiest.
Once Molly learns that Grace has gotten $110 billion in the divorce from her husband, Spencer, she suggests paying her a visit. Grace has apparently “gone dark” in the month since her divorce went public, but Molly assures Sofia it’s fine to just show up because Molly knows that “if you’re worth over $10 billion, legally, you’re allowed to show up wherever you want.” (She is dead wrong.)
When Molly and Sofia arrive at Grace’s mansion, they find a grisly scene. Well, “grisly” in the sense that Grace is still deep in the “blow it all to hell” and “get drunk, stay drunk” and “hook up with a DJ in a panda suit” portion of her post-divorce life. She is throwing a never-ending party with people she doesn’t know and who are definitely taking whatever they want out of the money bucket. She is handing out $50,000 bottles of Champers as party favors. It’s bleak. It is also pretty unhygienic.
It doesn’t take much convincing for Grace to agree to give the Wells Foundation billions of dollars, but it doesn’t sit right with Molly — Grace is not in the right frame of mind to be making decisions like this; it wouldn’t be right to just take her money. Instead, Molly wants to spend some time with Grace and help her through these early days of her divorce. There are very few people on the planet who understand what she’s going through as closely as Molly does — it’s actually quite lovely.
And then, suddenly, they’re on Grace’s private jet (PJ to you peasants) tossing back shots made of a cute li’l Robitussin, DayQuil, and NyQuil cocktail headed to Reykjavik. Also quite lovely, in a demented kind of way. We know why Grace is grinding up on DJ Panda Head at 30,000 feet, but what brings on the change of heart for Molly? Well, she gets a text from Sofia complaining about seeing Arthur making out with Willa outside of the office. Molly has it bad for the guy, and if you’re reminded that the guy you want is unavailable and cough-syrup shots are readily available to you? You’re gonna take those bad boys.
The Iceland partying is fun for a little bit — “fuck water,” am I right? — but it doesn’t take long for the good times to come to a halt. Learning that the DJ in the animal costume you’ve been making out with has actually been several different guys — DJ Panda Head is more of a symbol, you see — will do that to you. Also, the Robitussin/DayQuil/NyQuil hangover looks pretty intense. As it so often happens, the post-party, hung-over heart-to-heart takes place with Grace fully clothed in her hotel bathtub. Molly finally gets to talk to the real Grace. She knows how scary this is, how confused and unsure Grace must be as far as what comes next. Molly doesn’t sugarcoat it; it isn’t easy, and she’s still figuring it out herself, but Grace’s life isn’t over. Molly tells her how this divorce has led her to her work with the Wells Foundation, and this work has helped her realize things about herself she never knew — she can lead and build something for herself. It’s nice to be reminded just how far Molly Wells has come since we first met her.
When Grace asks if Molly means it when she says she owes so much of this growth to John, Molly replies with a resounding: “Of course not! Fuck that motherfucker.” A rallying cry if I ever heard one.
The ladies spend the day ice-skating and laughing together, reminding each other that there is life after their deadbeat husbands. Back in the office, Sofia tells Molly that Grace is in — she wants to donate all of her money to Space for Everything. And even better, the word is spreading: They have three other billionaire donors onboard. Space for Everyone is going national, baby. Something that has absolutely nothing to do with John Wells.
Notes From a Group Talk Session
• Howard tries to help Nicholas prep for an audition for a Korean drama, My Handsome Lawyer, when Nicholas admits he doesn’t know the language at all (he was adopted as a baby). It stirs up all of these emotions in Nicholas about never exploring his Korean background in any meaningful way. “I’m not white, thank God, but I’m not Asian enough either, and it’s like, sometimes I feel like I don’t know where I fit,” he tells Howard. Nicholas being so vulnerable? What a sight!
• Howard remains the sweetest man. He tells Nicholas that he’ll be there for him whether he wants to talk about it more or not because they’re best friends. Now, is there any way in hell Nicholas would label their friendship that way? Probably not, but it’s still a nice gesture, and Nicholas gets that.
• The running joke that Howard keeps “pitching the gayest trips” for him and Nicholas to go on together made me laugh and laugh. Howard’s earnest, frustrated “Okay, now all of a sudden Miami’s gay?” was the perfect button.
• Howard to Nicholas when he comes upon him reading his sides for the audition: “Oh, I’m sorry, did I interrupt your metamorphosis?”
• Ainsley thinks Arthur is the funniest person in the office; he’s just like Ellen! Even Arthur knows that might not actually be the compliment she thinks it is.
• The qualities Molly is looking for in potential billionaire donors are simple: “Recruit other billionaire donors who are as generous, relatable, and ‘hot but they don’t know it’ as me.”