Evil Recap: Lordy, Lordy Look Who’s 40

You know Sheryl’s feeling desperate when she’s going to the Catholic Church for help. As she so eloquently tells David when she visits him in the confessional box with a plan to help Timothy and a warning to keep the Bouchards safe and he tries to show her that this is a sign of goodness, that God will forgive her sins: “I don’t want your forgiveness, I hate you fucking guys.” She’s only there because the church is the one place that scares Leland. More and more, I feel like Sheryl isn’t going to make it out of this season alive, and that’s a shame because Sheryl is just the most fun. Saluting Jesus when she walks into St. Joseph’s? Perfect Evil energy right there. Christine Lahti is once again wildly compelling this season — her fear, desperation, and fury are all right there on the surface. If Sheryl does have to go, I hope she goes out in the blaze of glory she deserves.

Okay, so what is Sheryl’s plan to thwart Leland? She wants to get Timothy baptized before the antichrist ceremony. As David informs her, at baptism, the church believes a person is cleansed of original sin and given a “sanctifying grace.” It’s possible that if Timothy’s baptized, all that antichristness inside of him will be washed away. Oh, baby, that would really piss Leland off. Sheryl’s been working with Timothy’s surrogate Leslie to get access to him, so she and David make a plan for an impromptu baptism the next time Sheryl has the baby.

If only it could be so easy. The plan falls apart almost immediately when Leland informs Leslie that he needs Timothy back sooner than expected for “last looks” ahead of the blood ceremony. The “last looks,” the rush to get a pentagram painted on his floor, the whole vibe of rehearsal of an antichrist/satan ceremony is endlessly funny to me. Anyway, Sheryl has to scramble. She calls the rectory, but Father Ignatius informs her that David’s away tending to some errands (oooh boy, will we get to that soon). Sheryl doesn’t care — she is getting this kid baptized tonight before he’s back in Leland’s hands.

Father Ignatius might be confused by the urgency, but Sheryl finds a fast ally when she rolls up to St. Joseph’s and Sister Andrea opens the door. They recognize one another and Sheryl decides she does not need to bullshit this woman. “He’s the antichrist, all right?” Sheryl doesn’t even need to dive deep into Timmy’s parentage; Sister Andrea can smell the demon on him. When she goes to take a peek in the stroller, she doesn’t see the cute lil’ antichrist baby we do; she sees the demon baby. That disgusting monster all gussied up in Kristen’s christening gown? A visual I will cherish for some time to come (because it will certainly be showing up in my nightmares.)

Sister Andrea gets the situation and she’s there to strong arm Father Ignatius as much as Sheryl. A tag-team I never expected and yet, it seems so obvious. Father Ignatius might be confused, but he doesn’t put up much of a fight — you know who does? Satan. Or, at least, some sort of dark force. A huge storm causes a power outage. When they go to the baptismal font, there’s no water — the pipes are frozen. Someone or something is actively trying to prevent this baptism. Sister Andrea says not today Satan, and she really means it. She collects water from the storm and in a hilarious turn, Sheryl has to renounce Satan and say out loud that she believes in God; She chokes on it, but she does say it for the good of the cause. And suddenly, Timmy is baptized and the storm stops. Sheryl even gets the baptismal certificate and a cute photo with Sister Andrea, Father Ignatius, and Timothy to prove it.

Sheryl heading right over to Leland’s to nail the certificate and photo to his door and  uttering the sentence, “Like Martin Luther, mother fucker,” is high art; To learn she sealed it with a kiss, too? A gift.

You can imagine Leland’s reaction when he finds what Sheryl left him, along with a giggling, happy baby. The screaming shitmonster is no more. Could the baptism have actually worked? Leland decides to pretend it never happened, but when the 60 gather around Timothy and perform the blood ritual, hailing this coming of Satan and all Timothy does is smile and laugh at them, Leland’s under-the-breath “oh shit” gives his real feelings away. (Michael Emerson, perfect in this scene.) I don’t care what “new age” the Manager revealed in that red painting — Leland’s going to be in some deep shit here.

While all of this welcoming of the antichrist and baptism shenanigans are going on, the assessors are fully immersed in some serious remote viewing. I do wish at this point we got a little more clarification on the Entity and Father Dominic (Father Ignatius warning David that he doesn’t trust Father Dominic is ominous!). Being mysterious is one thing, but this is just getting frustratingly vague. How do they have items to give David to help his remote viewing … but also so desperately need his help to figure it out? Here, Father Dominic provides the coordinates and a danish, a cigar cutter, a sword, and a swatch of red, supposedly matching some painting. You can probably guess by this point that the remote viewing is supposed to lead David to the ceremony going on at Leland’s, however, instead, his visions lead him to the home of a man named Tyler, his wife Daniela, and their two kids — eventually, David realizes that Tyler lives directly under Leland.

And yet, I wouldn’t say the wires got crossed here — it seems very much like David was supposed to see Tyler instead of Leland. It was fate. Or, as David might put it, God intervening. David sees Tyler walk into his surprise birthday party — in an interesting coincidence, it is also David’s 40th birthday — and at first he just sees Tyler having a lovely night with his family and friends. There’s nothing really alarming going on here. When Ben and Kristen surprise David with cake, a cooler full of booze, and an excellent group rendition of “Should I Stay or Should I Go” he tells them. A tipsy Kristen gets awfully close to him and psychoanalyses him a bit: Maybe it was just him processing what his life could have been like if he made different choices. Now, did I chant “kiss, kiss, kiss!” to myself? Yeah, I’m not proud of it, but the sexual tension made me do it.

But the remote viewing of Tyler is real and that evening, when everyone’s gone, it gets much more alarming. David sees Tyler pull a gun out of his desk and hold it up to his head. David yells out no, he asks God to help him … and wouldn’t ya know, all of a sudden, Tyler lowers the gun. But the nightmare isn’t over. David realizes that Tyler now looks like he’s going to shoot not just himself but his wife and daughters, too. David follows him to the girls’ bedroom, and horrified and helpless, he yells out no. And it’s like Tyler can hear him. He collapses in tears. David’s little remote viewing power has leveled up once again and it seems to be both a blessing and a curse.

Now, David is fixated on figuring out who Tyler is and how he can stop him from hurting his family. He knows that he and his wife recently lost their son James in a car accident and Tyler is reeling from the grief, but he can’t find anything about it online. All he has to rely on is his remote viewing. He doesn’t care what Father Dominic is asking of him or that Sister Andrea tells him he is wasting his gift (although she eventually comes around) — David is going to save this man and his family. And when he views Tyler for a second night reaching for his gun, this time Tyler obviously feels a presence in the room with him and it stops him again, he knows he needs to do it quickly.

So what does my guy do? He enlists the help of the two people he trusts most: Kristen and Ben. They are there to assist him with analytical overlays — or AOLs — during his remote viewing. AOLs are things from your real life that might pop up in your remote viewing session; however, once you name the thing you believe to be an AOL, it will disappear from the remote viewing, allowing you to figure out what is part of your vision and what is coming from your own subconscious. We get a fun mini-trip down memory lane when items from old cases pop up in David’s remote viewing (never needed to see the possessed doll again, I’ll tell you that). Eventually, though, David spots a book on depression on the bookshelf, and Kristen recognizes it as a book that Dr. Boggs gives to all of his patients.

It turns out that Daniela, not Tyler, is a patient of Kurt’s, and thanks to a very above-the-board, ethical assist, the team is able to figure out where Daniela and Tyler live — this is how they wind up at Leland’s building. But they have no time for Leland. They (very poorly) lie to Daniela using information David learned while remote viewing about being from a private school they say Tyler is looking into. Honestly, I cannot believe Daniela falls for this. Get a hold of yourself, woman! You have two young daughters to protect! Don’t let a bunch of ding-dongs into your home, even if one does have a priest collar on. Honestly, that is especially true if one has a priest collar on.

While Kristen and Ben chat with Daniela, David is there in the living room when Tyler walks in. This scene is so gorgeous. Both Mike Colter and Sean Patrick Thomas play these little beats, which build up to this intense release so well. While Tyler tries to deny what David’s talking about seeing, David stays the course in a lovely, gentle way. He wants Tyler to know that he isn’t alone in his grief or his depression. As David goes on about how God told him to come to Tyler and about how God told him what he wants Tyler to do, to seek treatment, as David holds a weeping Tyler in his arms, yes it is about saving Tyler, but this moment also feels like David finally accepting this role, this mission, this gift that he’s tried to brush off for so long. He’s owning it now.

And it’s about time, too, because you know something wicked is on its way. We all saw that antichrist ceremony!!

Church Bulletin

• When Sheryl goes to see David in his confessional, she specifically warns him to look after Lexis. She tells him that Leland believes her to be a sort of John the Baptist to the antichrist. And then, when Kristen brings in the birthday cake decorated by the girls, she notes that Lexis did the red part — her favorite color these days is red. And David notes that.

• How great is Mike Colter in the scene with Sister Andrea? When she chastises him for wasting his gift, he responds: “Have a little more respect for me. This is to stop a man from killing himself and his family.” I love this side of David.

• Wait, no mention of all the Renee/Ben losing his mind stuff? Or Kurt Boggs going viral? I need more info on this and also to know if Tober is still kicking myself. Bring back Tober!

• If you’re wondering about the Martin Luther reference, the guy basically kicked off the Protestant Reformation in the 1500s when he (supposedly) nailed his Ninety-five Theses to a church door in Wittenberg, Germany, outlining his grievances with the Catholic Church. He was confronting their power, much like Sheryl confronting Leland’s.

• One of David’s first AOLs in this episode is a vision of Kristen getting naked in her bathroom. These two still have the hots for each other so bad and it is really throwing me. In a good way. Torture me as long as you want, David and Kristen’s doomed love affair!