Below Deck Down Under Season-Finale Recap: Bon Voyage
This season, Down Under had a little bit of everything that makes for a good Below Deck spin-off: technical problems, storms that rocked the boat, firings, beef between departments and inside departments, boatmances, tiffs with the captain, and even some obnoxious charter guests (remember Erik?). Still, this crew never fully found their groove. Some fights were recycled over so many episodes they became boring. The season-long romance between Harry and Bri started off sweet, only to skip the getting-to-know-you middle parts and deflate into what looks and sounds like a lukewarm marriage. Certain heads of department behaved so unbecomingly, it was hard to root for them. Others breezed through the season with nary a mark — what did ever possess Adair to be on reality television?
Our season finale picks up where we left off, with the tender stuck and the tide going out. The mistake puts Jason in the position of telling the guests that they are delayed because his bosun beached the tender, which is not a good look for them. Luckily, the guests think the situation is hilarious, though Jason doesn’t really get what’s funny. Harry, Nate, and Adair had been the three deckhands to take the tender out, so Jason asks someone to own up to what he calls “a huge fuck-up.” Nate, a natural leader, takes full accountability. As if to redeem himself, he gives the guests his all in a pirate costume, running the treasure hunt as if he were a sun-poisoned Jeff Probst.
Seeing Nate in a bandana and an eye-patch does something to Alesia, which is absolutely insane. Throughout the finale, she has a hard time making up her mind whether or not Nate gives her the ick. She even forgets that what set off her revulsion in the first place was the word “smoochies,” calling it “kissy-wissy” instead, which is at least a million times worse. By the end of the episode, she will have decided that her focus should be entirely on her progress as a chef, a positive conclusion for a 25-year-old. Anyway, the outcome of the beached tender situation is that Jason brings crew and guests back and forth in the dinghy, and Nate has to wait hours with the tender until the tide comes in and he can bring it back to the Katina. By the time there’s enough water to run the motor, locals and other beach-goers have mobilized to help Nate get the boat out. Ultimately, Jason goes easy on him. It happens, and also, it’s the last night of the season.
You’d think it being the last night of the season would mean that everyone feels inclined to let go of their grudges. Since the Katina has operated according to high-school dynamics all along, let us bring up the memory of the last week of school before the summer starts, when everything loses meaning. The people you’ve hated all year suddenly don’t seem so bad. That teacher who was on your case for months suddenly seems endearing. Why can’t Lara tap into that mindset? Why must she hold on so tightly? Primary guests Win and Lori explicitly mentioned on their preference sheet that for their last night, they wanted a seven-course tasting menu, for which Tzarina plans an enticing selection completely free of soups. Somehow, Lara finds a way to make this request a failure on the chef’s part. Seven courses are too many to bring up the stairs, and she only has two sets of cutlery. Amazingly, she asks Tzarina to speak to the guests and see if she can convince them to do fewer courses.
It’s a fun exercise to think of all the different sorts of strokes Lara might have if anyone dared put her in a similar position. Hey, Lara, can you ask the guests to make their own beds in the morning because we’re short-staffed, and it’ll save us time? Tzarina goes to speak with the guests about it anyway, though ultimately she doesn’t have the guts to ask them to downsize dinner. Lara overhears their conversation, and when she realizes that Tzarina is not going to do what she wants, she calls the chef “unhinged,” which displays unprecedented levels of self-delusion.
When dinner does come around, though, it goes smoothly. Tzarina’s French-inspired menu is a hit with the guests, and Alesia rises to the occasion and pulls her weight in the galley. For fun and for morale they wear really tall chef toques in the kitchen. The meal comes out looking legit, single asparagus spear on an enormous white plate and all. The cherry on top is that the swell has gone down, so the boat isn’t rocking anymore and the guests are actually able to enjoy their dinner.
It’s smooth sailing for the rest of the charter. On the last morning of the season, Harry does a wonderful job bringing the boat in, the guests leave a fat tip ($25,500 total, which comes out to $1,960 each) and, over champagne at the tip meeting, Jason awards the last disco helmet to Tzarina, who has been begging for it all season. He also promises to take them out to dinner that night. He’s not invited to Boys’ Bathroom Chat at the restaurant, which is kind of a bummer, since I could see him kicking it with the boys, but he does make a toast to a crew who held it together despite all odds before returning to the Katina and leaving his disciples to go dancing.
Tzarina takes the opportunity to also toast to Lara’s efficiency running the interior department. Unbeknownst to the chef, Lara had been talking about how she needs to have one more conversation with Tzarina before saying goodbye, for reasons that continue to elude me. Once something is squashed, why bring it back up? Tzarina’s toast annoys Lara, who was already annoyed to begin with, and if I’m being honest, it kind of annoyed me too. I don’t doubt Tzarina’s intentions in the same way that Lara does, but her speech does come across back-handed. When they have their final conversation the next day, it leads nowhere, because there is nothing left to be said. Lara all but breaks up with Tzarina, saying about their friendship that she just “can’t do it anymore,” and Tzarina, by this point exhausted from this crazy-making cycle, just puts her hands up and accepts this fate: “If you don’t want to be my friend, that’s absolutely fine.” Exactly, Tzarina! Good for her. Maybe she’ll find some actual friends wherever she goes next.
Lara and Tzarina’s break-up turns out to be the only one of the season. After many days debating whether their relationship had a future, Bri tells Harry before dinner that she’s “so happy” they made it through together, and only winces a little bit when he jokingly refers to her as his girlfriend. Later that night, as they’re dancing in the rain, Alesia — overcome, no doubt, by the music and a generous amount of tequila — twerks on Harry, which initially angers Bri. Lara tells Harry to speak to Bri, which only angers her more. But then Harry makes puppy eyes at her and immediately admits that he shouldn’t have just stood there while Alesia “threw it back” on him, in Bri’s words. His willingness to admit wrongdoing endears him to her so much that by the time they’re in the vans on the way back to the Katina, she has not only let it go, she’s decided that he should be her boyfriend. What amazing feats the confidence of the drunk can accomplish. Harry and Bri are the last to leave the Katina the next day, boyfriend and girlfriend after all.
The twerking incident is never brought up again, least of all to Alesia, who would’ve been too busy having a good time anyway. She even makes out with Tzarina on the dancefloor, to Lara’s prudish shock. It was nice to see Tzarina and Alesia find their rhythm as a team, and it does seem like they learned from each other: Tzarina learned how to be a clearer, more communicative boss, and Alesia learned how to run a yacht’s galley. The sous chef leaves the boat proud of her progress and with plans to attend culinary school, so she can continue to focus on her career. I’d like to see her back — her spirit and personality were great additions to the season, and for as long as I live I will never forget the day when she refused to make Wihan a cheeseboard.
That leaves us with Marina and Nic, who subtly but surely made their mark as a couple in the back half of the season. Throughout the charter, Marina gives Nic little hints about things she would want to do with him in Cape Town, where he’s from, in the hopes that he will ask her to go there with him before she heads to the Mediterranean for more yachting. But by the time the rain is falling on the dancefloor and inhibitions have been thrown out the window, she says screw it and asks him herself. He’s on the same page as her, and the next day, they are the first to leave the Katina together. I hated on Nic for a while when he first came onboard, but I learned to like him; the season overall was a boost to his confidence, both as a deckie and as a man who can speak to a woman. Judging by both of their Instagram pages, they are still together, which does make my Grinch heart grow a few sizes.
Lara and Tzarina both leave with praise from the captain. Will this beef extend over the next season? Lara calls the experience “the hardest thing” she’s ever done, and also the best. Tzarina leaves with a Tzarinism: “I’m not going to change for anyone… I’m going to let my freak flag fly.” Again, good for her. And with that, we bid the Seychelles a warm adieu. Thanks for watching along with me this season!