Olympic open water events are set to take place in Paris' Seine River, but would you swim in it?

The Olympics' open water 10k marathons and triathlons are in the Seine River, which was dangerously dirty leading up to the Games.

Simply put: Nope, no chance I’d jump in the dirty Seine River. Paris Olympians may not have that choice. Let me explain.

If marathon swimming and triathlons are held in the Seine as planned, rather than at a backup venue, Olympians’ only choice could be to swim in the iconic river or withdraw from the 2024 Games. Although Paris Olympics organizers vowed to clean the river to safe swimming standards with a reported $1.5 billion investment, questions about the Seine’s cleanliness have lingered in the weeks leading up to the Games.

The dirtiest body of water many — or maybe most — people have swum in is a pool or hot tub. Of course, pools are treated with a variety of chemicals to sanitize the water, kill bacteria, limit algae and neutralize byproducts, among other functions. While chemicals, like chlorine and bromine, work relatively quickly, they’re not instantaneous.

In another life as a competitive swimmer and lifeguard, I learned the gross truths about what’s really in a pool. Assume there’s urine because there’s always urine. But beyond that, there’s sweat and spit and mucus — sometimes blood and feces — along with body and hair care products. It’s best not to think about it.

Open water swimming is a different story, though. I’ve done that too, including in the Detroit River. The lifelong pool swimmer in me much prefers looking down at a tiled black line than murky nothingness.

Triathlon athletes start to compete swimming in the Seine river next to the Alexandre III bridge during a Test Event for the women’s triathlon for the upcoming 2024 Olympic Games in Paris, on August 17, 2023. (Photo by Miguel MEDINA / AFP)

“I have incredible respect for those [open water] athletes,” pool swimmer Katie Ledecky said, adding, “It’s just personally not for me.”

Same, same, especially when you consider how much water swimmers swallow.

People ingest about 32 milliliters, or a little more than an ounce, per hour of swimming, according to a 2017 study in conjunction with the Environmental Protection Agency and published by the Journal of Water and Health.

So when it comes to swimming in the Seine — which has been largely banned since 1923 — not a chance for me, even though Paris Mayor Anne Hidalgo jumped in last week. Team USA Olympians are hoping for the best.

“It’s pretty disappointing that the Olympic organizers have really not locked in cleaning this venue up as far in advance as they should have, to the point where now the whole world is questioning whether it’s going to happen in time,” Team USA Olympic marathon swimmer Ivan Puskovitch said last month.

Paris Mayor Anne Hidalgo swims in the Seine, in Paris on July 17, 2024, to demonstrate that the river is clean enough to host the outdoor swimming events at the Paris Olympics. (Photo by JOEL SAGET / POOL / AFP)

Open water swimmers aren’t strangers to dirty or questionable water. Two-time Olympic triathlete Morgan Pearson said he’s encountered discarded condoms while swimming in New Jersey.

“I feel like the water quality is always a big hype or concern leading into Games, like going into Rio and going into Tokyo,” Team USA Olympic triathlete Taylor Spivey said in June. “So I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

In June, the water still contained high amounts of fecal bacteria — including E. coli, making it unsafe to swim in — partly as a result of unseasonably high rainfall.

But as of July 12, the water quality met safety standards for at least 10 of the previous 12 days, Agence France-Presse reported, leaving hope for the triathlon beginning July 30 and marathon swimming starting August 8.

If the water quality is unsafe for marathon swimming and triathlons, Olympics organizers have backup dates planned and an alternative venue — the Vaires-sur-Marne Nautical Stadium, which is just outside Paris and already hosting canoe-kayak and rowing events — should it be necessary.

The USOPC and national governing bodies have said they’re monitoring the Seine water quality situation and following the lead of international federation standards for safety.

Triathlon athletes compete next to the bridge Alexandre III and the Seine river as they run to go from swimming to cycling during a Test Event for the women’s triathlon for the upcoming 2024 Olympic Games in Paris, on August 17, 2023. (Photo by Emmanuel DUNAND / AFP)

“Having worked with them closely, I trust their standards,” Rocky Harris — USOPC chief of sport and athlete services and former USA Triathlon CEO — said in April. “They’re actually higher than American standards. Like, you could swim in a lake in America that wouldn’t be up to their standards.”

If safety remains a concern come competition time, Team USA open water coach Ron Aitken said he’ll advise but leave the final decision to compete or not to the athletes and their families.

“It certainly gives me a little bit of anxiety, and my fellow competitors, because we spend our whole lives preparing for this moment and we want to be able to compete,” Puskovitch said.

“The only thing that we can do as athletes is … have faith in the situation and make sure that — regardless of water cleanliness, venue, whether the venue changes or not — we’re ready to show up and race the best 10k we can.”

As for me, there are few things I won’t try once, and despite noting all the dangers, I may have just talked myself into considering (hypothetically) jumping in if the Seine is safe enough for Olympic competition.

If the water quality is questionable, I’d need a fat bonus plus medical expenses covered. And even then, it still might be a hard pass.