Domestic battle ends with victory haircut

With all the troubles going on in our country these days, it seemed time for a total fluff column. So here it is.

The Battle of the Century just ended. I got a haircut.

It all began when my wife came home a couple of months ago and casually took off her shoes.“NOOOOOO!” I screamed. “YOU PAINTED YOUR TOES!”

Sure enough, right before my disbelieving eyes, every one of her 10 toenails was painted fire-engine red. Absolutely disgusting.

I’m well aware many men, maybe even a majority, like nail polish on women. I’m just not one of them. “What were you thinking?” I asked, trying not to look. “You know how much I hate red nail polish.”She wiggled her toes as close to my face as she could, which fortunately wasn’t that close.