Here's Why Taylor Swift's Hit Songs Are Actually All About American Foreign Policy

The Angry Staff Officer

Culture, Americas

Makes sense to me.

TSwift understood, which is why she wrote “I knew you were trouble” about Russia.

The world of international relations is fraught with peril these days. Old alliances are frayed, new enemies seem to be hiding behind every tree, and we find ourselves unlikely bedfellows with many countries. In short, we’ve basically become a Taylor Swift song. Yes, she has become the troubadour of our times, with apt descriptions of so many of the situations that keep our diplomats and generals up at night.

Although some might decry this assertion as presumptuous – how dare I claim that our national icon dabbles in international relations? – it holds weight when you really dive deep into the lyrics. For example, we really should have foreseen the trouble Russia would cause when we began to cozy up to Putin back in the ’00s. TSwift understood, which is why she wrote “I knew you were trouble” about Russia. We played around with them a bit in the joint fight against terrorism until they showed their true colors. Maybe they never loved us or them or anyone. Yeah.

And speaking of Russia, that brings us to Turkey, who is cozying right on up to Russia right now. Turkey, a NATO ally, is all about that sweet Moscow music. Yeah, we got “Bad Blood” with Turkey. Band-aids don’t fix bullet holes, nor do they fix acquisition of S-400 anti-air missiles, Ankara. As Taylor says, “Still, all my life, I got money and power, you gotta live with the bad blood now.” No F-35s for you, Turkey.

In a similar vein of people who’ve been making us angry lately, there’s North Korea, who have been on-again, off-again with us, in a very Katy Perry way. Well, listen up, Kim: “We are never getting back together.” Go talk to China, go talk to the UK, come talk to us, but it’s final. We are never ever ever getting back together. Well, I mean, not today. Maybe if you call tomorrow.

Maybe.