Family perplexed by sitter's behavior

DEAR ABBY: I need advice on how to discuss a sensitive matter with my son and daughter-in-law's babysitter. She watches my grandson Monday through Friday while they are at work. They live with me, and I work from home, so I am around all day while she's sitting with the baby.

Overall, she's pretty good, but we have discovered her asleep in my son and daughter-in-law's bed a couple of times. She also changes into my son's clothing occasionally, which makes my daughter-in-law very uncomfortable.

My daughter-in-law needs to have a discussion about it with her but doesn't know how to approach the matter. My suggestion was for her to be clear and tell the woman she's uncomfortable with the behavior and ask her to stop. What do you think?

— Not sitting well in the South

DEAR NOT SITTING: Your daughter-in-law should ask her babysitter why she's crawling into their bed and putting on her employer's clothes because, frankly, what's going on is bizarre. The sitter should be told she's not being paid to sleep on the job. And further, that dressing up in the husband's attire is forbidden, and if it happens again she will be replaced.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I took our children trick-or-treating in my mom's neighborhood because we live in a rural area, and there's no trick-or-treating where we are. When we were done, we found a letter taped onto our windshield telling us how rude we were for bringing our kids trick-or-treating in a neighborhood we don't live in. I mentioned it to several friends and family members afterward, and the reactions were mixed. Some sided with us, and others sided with the note writer.

We're not sure what to do from now on.

— Tricked, but not treated

DEAR TRICKED: Whoever wrote that note must have...