Invited for first time ever

DEAR ABBY: Am I wrong not to want to attend a baby shower because my significant other's daughter doesn't give me the time of day? I have been with her father for 10 years now, and not once has this girl ever asked me to go shopping, have lunch or anything. I have turned the other cheek when it came to family functions on my man's side of the family, but she refuses to participate in anything I have. What to do?

— Shower should or shouldn't

DEAR S.S.O.S.: In all this time, have you ever asked his daughter to go shopping with YOU, have lunch or anything else? Did you receive an invitation to that shower? If you did, it provides a glimmer of hope that you can have some kind of relationship. If you don't go, the ice will grow thicker, and it would be a mistake to let that happen.

DEAR ABBY: I have an etiquette question. I'm planning an evening family celebration for our company. The question of dress code has been asked multiple times. I find it perplexing that people are asking. Unless otherwise specified — i.e. black tie, semiformal, business casual or jacket required — shouldn't it be assumed that pretty much anything goes?

For this party, I expect people to show up in anything from cut-off shorts to cocktail dresses. I didn't think a dress code was a detail that needed addressing. Am I wrong?

— No pajamas, please

DEAR NO PAJAMAS, PLEASE: You are being asked because there is confusion. Clearly it IS a detail that needs addressing, and as a considerate host, you should clarify what you expect your guests to wear.

DEAR ABBY: Widowed after 65 years of a superb marriage, it was my difficult task to begin clearing our closet of my wife's vast array of clothing and shoes. After a few trips to thrift stores, the next...