Trust issues with wife well-founded

DEAR ABBY: I found out a year ago that my wife of eight years had an affair for three years with my best friend. Two months ago I realized she is still contacting him. I found out because I went through her cell records. She said she was just texting him about how he ruined our life. Now I have no access to them, and I suspect she's using a text app so I won't know. She keeps her phone with her all the time.

I can't live like this, and I don't know what to do. I always let her do what she wanted and never had a concern before this. I was always laid-back, but now I can't stop thinking she is up to no good. How do I approach this with her? We have been to counseling. Every time I bring up her affair, she says our marriage will never work because of trust issues, and I agree. Please help.

— Out of chances in Florida

DEAR OUT: Your wife and best friend betrayed you, so your trust issues are well-founded. If she would like to stay married to you, she should not be hiding her cellphone and texts from you. If she's unwilling to cooperate, then what she said is 100 percent correct — your marriage will never work, and your next step should be to talk to an attorney.

DEAR ABBY: I had a baby a year ago. I'm 46, and my son's father just turned 50. We are looking to buy a house, but I am conflicted. We are not married, and it will be my money that we use for the down payment. I have expressed that I would like to be married before we buy the house, but nothing has happened. I have brought the subject up several times, but I now feel really nervous about his not following through. How should I proceed from here?

— Down payment dilemma in New York

DEAR D.P.D.: That the father of your baby keeps "forgetting" to address the fact that you want to be married is a red flag. It...