Celebrate Pride with Get It Called – Courtney’s Story

by Helena Mazzarella

As synchronized skaters, we have all heard, and probably even used, the phrase: “my team supports me both on and off the ice.” For Courtney, this phrase exemplifies her experience with the Team Excel organization, which creates a safe and accepting environment where everyone is encouraged to be themselves. Realizing she was pansexual in college, Courtney found comfort and safety in her teammates. Courtney says, “knowing how supportive my team was of my fellow LGBTQ+ teammates made me motivated to be more vibrantly me.” Below is a conversation, slightly edited for clarity, I had via email with Courtney about her experience on a team that fostered love, inclusivity, and acceptance. 

Helena: You mentioned you never “came out” but rather did not hide who you were. What did that process look like, and how did your team help along that journey? 

Courtney: I think that often, there is the common stereotype of people knowing they were on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, hiding it, and then having some grand moment of coming out where they announced it to the world. In my case, even though it may have been assumed due to societal norms, I never called myself straight, so there was never any reason for me to “come out” per se. I always kept that portion of my life open, so it was more of an ongoing journey than one that started with a straight beginning and a pansexual end. Over time, as I became educated about the LGTBQ+ community, I found I fit into the category of being pan, meaning that it does not matter to me whether someone is male, female, both, neither, or anything in between. What matters to me is who someone is on a level of personality and soul. I think my team really helped me because this was treated normally— I was never questioned about my identity and was treated the same as any of my straight teammates.

H: How did your team in college help you realize you were pansexual?

C: I was lucky enough to have a decent amount of fellow teammates on the LGBTQ+ spectrum. They were always open about who they were, and the team was always very supportive of them— we even had a couple on our team who everyone absolutely loved! Being LGBTQ+ on Excel was not a big deal – instead, it was treated as normal as any other information about yourself. The information was the same as which college you went to or where you were from. No one was treated differently for their identity, and there was never any gossip when someone came out. Because it was just treated like any other fact about a person, I think that’s what made me truly comfortable with being myself. Many people make the common mistake of making it a big event when someone comes out, and I think that can often be what scares us away from sharing something so personal. 

H: Were there specific moments that made you realize your team was a safe place?

C: Definitely when the couple on my team became open about their relationship. They weren’t questioned or treated as if they were odd. On the contrary, everyone was thrilled for them and how happy they were together!

H: How did your fellow LGBTQ+ teammates have an impact on you?

C: None of my LGBTQ+ teammates really seemed to feel the need to hide who they were and would often talk just as casually about their relationships as any of my straight teammates would. When I was starting to realize I was pan, they were very supportive and happy to answer any questions I had about the LGBTQ+ community.

H: In what ways did your college team differ from your previous team or home club?

C: I always say I was raised on Precisely Right— they were, without question, my family. The coaches loved each of us dearly, and we loved them. Every teammate was there for one another without fail. Excel was supportive as well but on a more adult level. While Precisely Right cared for their skaters like we were their own children, Excel helped us with the next stage in our lives of growing into adulthood. We were given more independence and responsibility. Excel is very much about helping their college-level skaters transition into being strong and independent people. It was an important place to help me learn to advocate for myself and the type of person I was. 

H: Are there things that would have created a more inclusive environment that you wish you had before entering college?

C: In terms of my team before college, Precisely Right was wonderfully inclusive and supportive beyond anything I could have asked for— they truly were and always will be my home. However, my high school environment was quite the opposite. My high school had very little diversity. I participated in an event at the school called Day of Silence, which was a day when those who wished to could take a vow of silence as a protest against LGTBQ+ discrimination. We were each given a badge that explained what we were participating in to avoid speaking and explaining to others. Many took the day as an opportunity to make fun of or try to trick or force those participating into talking rather than showing respect. I even had a teacher who did not have any questions to ask but still tried to force those participating into talking under the threat of throwing them out of the class. This is truly unacceptable. Schools should be teaching the history of discrimination of all kinds of people to begin to learn from and grow away from such prejudices.

H: Personally, what do you feel is the best way for team members and coaches to create a safe and inclusive environment for LGBTQ+ skaters?

C: I think there’s a lot to say for equality. Being straight or on this particular spectrum should be as mundane as talking about what you had for lunch. If you have a nonbinary, transgender, gender fluid, (etc.) skater, offer them a separate locker room as you would a male skater. Offer them a slightly different alteration of the dress/uniform being offered as you would a male skater. Essentially, honor their identity instead of trying to make them fit into the female or male category. At this point in history, it is our job to eliminate the cisgender and heterosexual biases that exist in figure skating as a sport. The best way is to treat us as normally as any other skater, honor our identity, and be an ally for any of your skaters facing discrimination.

As members of the synchronized skating community, let’s take it upon ourselves to be the allies our teammates need. Let’s be the teammates who make it so every person feels comfortable to be “more vibrantly” themselves by creating a safe, accepting, and inclusive environment both on and off the ice.