What to Say (and Not to Say) When You Break Up With Someone
Do not try to be irreverent or glib
Preply’s experts sent over some examples of what not to say when breaking up with someone, and they really boil down to this: Don’t be flippant. Don’t be glib. And, please, don’t try to take the edge off with some humour here. Do not downplay the relationship or try to be dismissive, so don’t say, “We weren’t even together.” Do not make jokes, especially ones designed to sting a little, so don’t go for corny one-liners like, “Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.” It probably goes without saying, but you’re going to hurt this person, even if they’re sensing or also hoping for the breakup, too. You might think cracking a joke will soften the blow, but you’ll really just end up looking like an arsehole and giving them the impression you don’t care — or are trying to look like you don’t, which is just as bad. You wouldn’t be planning this out if you didn’t care, so don’t try to go out in a blaze of glory or look too cool, even if this ending was caused by something harmful the other person did. Take the high road.Don’t be vague or rush through it
You might want to get this over with quickly, but the other person is probably going to have some questions. If you want this breakup to work and you want it to stick, you have to help give them some closure, lest they spend the next few weeks mulling over unanswered questions and believing they might be able to get you back. Explain yourself. Contextualize your decision. Give them a window into what you’re thinking so there is no miscommunication or opportunity for them to misunderstand. This means you have to say more than just, “It’s not working out and I want to break up.” While that’s direct (which is good!) it’s not sufficient. Preply’s language experts are clear on this one: “The worst thing you can do when breaking things off with someone is to give absolutely no context and no closure.” You might worry about being too hurtful if you detail your full thought process here, but think instead about how hurtful it will be for them to sit around wondering why they got dumped — and how detrimental it could be to both of you if they reach out in the future with questions, anger, or an appeal to reconcile because you weren’t clear enough.What to say when you break up with someone
Keeping in mind how important it is to be thorough, kind, direct, and sincere. Preply’s experts recommend saying something like this:- “I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you over the last few months, however I am not in the right place to be in a relationship right now. I need some time to figure out what I want and I need to do that alone.”
- “You are an amazing person and I value everything about you and the time we’ve spent together, but right now a romantic relationship is not the best for us and I think we should break up.”
- “Although I have enjoyed spending time with you, I have realised that I don’t want to be in a relationship and am enjoying my independence at the moment. It is not fair to keep stringing you along, so I think we should end things now.”
The post What to Say (and Not to Say) When You Break Up With Someone appeared first on Lifehacker Australia.