I refuse to sleep with ex until he commits and meets my family

DEAR DEIDRE: FOUR years after I broke up with my ex because he wouldn’t commit, he has come back into my life.

We haven’t had sex again yet, and I’m holding off until he agrees to a proper, committed relationship.

I’m 46 and divorced, with a grown-up daughter, while he is 52 and has never been married or had kids.

When we were together, he never introduced me to his friends or family, or wanted to meet mine.

Even though we were together for three years I felt like his dirty secret, and when I found out he was still open to meeting other women I ended it.

Then a month ago, I bumped into him in a pub. He made it clear he still fancies me, and I felt the same.

We’ve met up a few times and kissed, but I’ve said he can’t stay the night until I feel I can trust him to be a committed partner.

He only wants to come to mine or to meet up in hotels, and my instinct is telling me nothing has changed.

I really want to sleep with him but I need to know where I stand.

My friend is having a party next weekend and I’m thinking of saying I’ll have sex if he agrees to come with me.

DEIDRE SAYS: Unfortunately, this man still shows no signs of wanting to make any kind of commitment.

Perhaps he already has a secret partner, or he just doesn’t want a relationship.

Don’t have sex with him again to try to make him fall in love with you. It won’t work.

Sex is not a bargaining tool, and you’ll only end up feeling used and hurt again.

You deserve so much more. My support pack, Addictive Love, might help you to deal with your feelings for him.