I make penises unrecognisable at the Tour de France… organisers warned me ‘you’re gonna see a lot of c**ks’
NOT all heroes wear capes.
Patrick Dancoisne and Joel Gautriand do one of the most important, and underappreciated, jobs at the Tour de France.
The pair travel hundreds of miles transforming penises into jolly butterflies or bears before the race.
With this year’s track taking in a total of 2119 miles, it is their job to ensure nothing offensive is seen by viewers on the track.
In fact, as Joel turned up to work, an official said: “Boys, you’re going to see a lot of c**ks.”
Journalist Jean-Baptiste Mouttet, who interviewed the two men for Pedale! magazine via Rouleur, reported that this premonition turned out to be correct.
His article read: “As the van begins its descent, the penis in all its myriad forms springs up as far as the eye can see.
“Every hundred metres or so, sometimes flying in formation, there are male genitalia.”
For every single sensitive piece of the human anatomy, the Eraser Men must stop the van, get out and grab a brush.
Sometimes, penis graffiti is spotted at such short notice that all Patrick and Joel can do is get out of the van and paint scribbled lines over it in order to make the image unrecognisable before the peloton races by.
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For the rest of the year, Patrick juggles jobs as an undertaker and a barman.
He said: “I am a pallbearer, a master of ceremonies, and I pull pints.”
But it was with a tinge of regret that he would remove one piece of graffiti.
The bright green message over ten metres long read: “OUR POLITICIANS ARE GANGSTERS”
Patrick said of it: “Now this is real art!”
However, penises were not the most common form of graffiti along the wrote.
In this particular day of work, Patrick and Joel found 18 penises, nine syringes and 30 messages supporting refugees.