AMERICAN TOUR OFF TO A BANGER – 6 PLAYERS THAT IMPRESSED
Arsenal dished out a bit of a hammering in the MLS All-Star game. Not that I have a vested interest in MLS or anything, but it’s worth pointing out that:
- MLS has a lot of games over a massive space, players are tired, they’ve just been given a short break by their clubs, and those players didn’t get it
- 90% of the players on show are fighting for something at club level; there was certainly a bit of self-preservation out there yesterday
- They have never played together
Arsenal didn’t treat the game like an exhibition. They were brutal. It’s clear that Arteta wants a strong preseason showing so his players are firing for the first 4 games of the season where he needs at least 10 points.
There’s no point in writing a match report – but I can give some key points I thought were interesting/sexy/ominous:
KAI HAVERTZ: He took some pelters from the front row over his volley challenge and there were people online saying things like ‘he has to have a good game’… and he did. Nothing spectacular, but you started to see a bit of what he’s all about. He mostly occupied the role Granit had. He linked play nicely, he offered an outlet for long balls, and he gave us height and mobility in a way Granit couldn’t. Havevrtz is a target man, he allows us to challenge those beautiful long balls our deeper players can spring with drone-like accuracy, and we saw some of that in action last night. He also scored a half volley – who cares about a skills challenge, right?
JURRIEN TIMBER: Oooooffffff… what a great start in an Arsenal shirt. The man was all over the pace, yeah, I wrote pace. He moved the ball at speed, had great movement and mobility, and he looked quite a bit faster than what we have in that role at the moment. The guy is a pure technician who looked capable of playing across the defence and even in midfield. Fans were LOVING on him in the comments on the LIVE podcast we dropped after the show. What a terrific option in for next season.
MARTIN ODEGAARD: Did you need a reminder that we have the hottest young attacking midfielder in the league? You didn’t. But the world did, and that through ball to Martinelli was the stuff of Pirlo-inspired dreams. He’s going to find the next level this season as he builds toward KDB levels of influence.
LEANARDO BOSSARD: That was quite the ‘REMEMBER ME’ performance from the Belgian international. He’s added a metallic tint to his hair to cover the greys, and he performed like a 43 yr old divorcee in the gym after getting cheated on. He was everywhere, putting in the miles, making sure he was in better shape than the younger men on the Tinder scene. His technique really does remind me of Santi Cazorla. What he lacks in pace, he makes up for in bipedal-ambidexterity-ability and elite shape-shifting. He scored a screamer after shifting the All-Stars the wrong way and also tried a sidefooted freekick that went just wide.
GABRIEL SCORE-SUS: Has he been reading his 2024 summer obituary? I hope so. He needs to show up this season and deliver us a bag full of goals or face Haaland-like consequences next season. There’s a collection of Arsenal fans, mostly likely exOzil groupies, who have launched a social club called #9s DON’T NEED TO SCORE and they can scream about this ridiculous notion all they like but we have a manager who demands his strikers score goals. Jesus dropped a beautiful slightly deflected chip to the back post after 4 minutes. Different gravy. The type you only get served to you at the Michelin star restaurants. We need that every game – the instant stuff goes back in the cupboard if we want to win the Premier League.
DECLAN RICE: Firstly, it is WILD to me that we have him. Second bit of insight? HE IS A BIG LAD. What I absolutely love about Arteta is he sees a weakness in the squad and he addresses it so damn fast we don’t even have time to percolate on it. He knew after the Manchester City game that Arsenal aren’t a physical match for them. That boys in blue are bigger, meaner, and taller. Declan Rice is an Elden Ring final boss – but he has the grace of a ballerina. I loved his one-touch passing and the deep range he has in the toolbox. My favourite addition was a moment when had the ball in the Xhaka zone – instead of making a short pass into Odegaard, he dashed 20 yards and roiled the defence. The man is a weapon and a very, very exciting addition to a squad that needed him. Imagine going from West Ham to Arsenal? You don’t need to imagine what it feels like, look at the smile Declan is wearing on his face.
FINALLY: Admit it, the new away kit looked pretty awesome and you just ordered it. It’s ok, it’s ok. Embrace it, young neon tiger.
I could go on, but we have plenty more preseason to go, everyone will get a mention. Also, we covered a lot in the latest podcast. OUR FIRST ON THE WHISTLE OF THE SEASON.
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