What is ‘fake’ vs. ‘real’ coquette, and how has the definition of coquette changed over time?

Recently, coquette has come to mean anything with tiny bows and washes of pink. However, TikTok fashion mavens are trying to reign in the definition of coquette, drawing a line between what's fake and real coquette. But what exactly is coquette, and how has it changed over time? We’ll clue you in ahead. 

The lacy, frill-covered aesthetic has more of a checkered past than you might think.

What does coquette mean?

Coquette is an opulent and intricate style, one characterized by luxurious textures and delicate details. According to Better Homes and Gardens, it's “defined by soft pastels, lace and pearls, romantic florals, and old English elegance.”

French in origin, the use of the word “coquette” dates all the way back to the 1600s. It has a somewhat disparaging connotation—Merriam-Webster defines a coquette as “a woman who tries without sincere affection to gain the attention and admiration of men.”  

Despite this gendered definition, many who embrace the aesthetic approach it as a fun way to express themselves. There’s agency involved, so it’s not them simply abiding by patriarchal and heteronormative traditions. 

TikTok creator @hello.kittys.pink.bow shares just the visuals that make a look "real coquette" as opposed to just hyper-feminine or girly. We'll talk more about what counts as real coquette a bit later.

@hello.kittys.pink.bow Both aesthetics are cute, but just casue its pink and has a bow on doesnt make it coquette, yes bows are in the coquette aesthetic, and how black is heavy in the goth aesthetic but does that mean that everything that is black is now goth? Yeah didnt think so #coquetteaesthetic #coquette #doll #pinkcoquette #bows #realcoquette #hyperfeminine ♬ prom song gone wrong - s

What are the controversial origins of this style?

Associated with Lana del Rey and Sofia Coppola, what we now know as coquette took off on Tumblr in the late aughts and 2010s. What specifically gained traction was the controversial nymphet aesthetic derived from Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita. This trend was especially dicey because the classic novel details an adult male narrator’s disturbing obsession with a 12-year-old girl. In Lolita, the narrator Humbert Humbert used the term "nymphet" to describe young girls he found attractive and seductive. 

In a TikTok video, creator @sovietcomputer explains that the term “coquette” is a rebrand of nymphet. The nymphet community tapered off as Tumblr’s popularity waned and members of the community distanced themselves from the association with Lolita.

@sovietcomputer (not to say some of this rhetoric doesn't exist today, but for the most part the rebrand has been successful ) internet history y'all ! I will keep making these occasionally as a Tumblr veteran #tumblr #coquette #internethistory ♬ original sound - ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

The nymphet style, for many, was about exploring girlhood through feminine fashion. The aesthetic borrowed from the visuals in Stanley Kubrick’s 1962 and Adrian Lyne’s 1997 film adaptations of Lolita. The styles in these movies included things like bows, chiffon, lace, gingham, heart motifs, and floral patterns. 

Some people worried that this subculture romanticized the predatory relationship in Lolita and that unsavory adults would prey on girls who adopted the style. However, others felt that this line of thought stigmatized femininity as being inherently tied to abuse and helplessness. (HerCampus and Bare Magazine have great essays unpacking these arguments, FYI.) 

We also can't mention coquette's history without discussing Japanese Lolita. While the nymphet aesthetic is more of a direct ancestor to coquette, the lace- and pastel-laden Japanese street style, which emerged in the ‘70s, can also be viewed as a predecessor to the current trend. In practice, it really isn’t connected to its problematic namesake. Inspired by the Rococo and Victorian eras, this intricate aesthetic pays homage to girlhood and the nostalgic feelings that come with childhood. 

The difference between fake vs. real coquette

It’s no secret that Internet microtrends cycle through social media at breakneck speed. In recent years, we’ve seen the rise of aesthetic “cores” like cottagecore, princesscore, and Regencycore. As such, trends have definitely bled into each other. This has been the case for coquette. 

The broad use of coquette has drawn ire from fashion connoisseurs. It's now synonymous with anything that’s pink or has a bow on it. To tighten up coquette’s definition, people have started to draw the line between fake and real coquette.

Here’s how TikTok user @lucia_meep distinguishes between fake and real coquette.

@lucia_meep back in my comtroversial era ౨ৎ⋆ ˚｡⋆ *disclaimer: all pictures found on pinterest | I love all of the outfits, this was just my personal take on the trend* #coquette ♬ original sound - lucia ♡⸜(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ )⸝

“Call me a hater, but I think we’re taking coquette too far and we’re just calling literally any outfit that’s pink and has a bow coquette when it’s not,” the creator mused in a video. The crux of the clip is that real coquette pieces are less basic and tend to be a bit more intricate.

@lucia_meep Replying to @???? how to dress coquette ???? ‧₊˚ ⋅ disclaimer: the girl in the jeans is my own outfit + this is just my personal opinion on the trend ???? #coquette ♬ original sound - lucia ♡⸜(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ )⸝

In a follow-up video, the creator notes that good indicators of real coquette include a vintage feel, floral motifs, and lacy textures. While the real aesthetic might include pink and bows, the fake version has a more minimal and modern vibe. For example, Uggs with tiny bows on them and outfits with jeans are not coquette. 

But we want to note that the pink-and-bow version of the aesthetic has brought fun microtrends to the surface. Think “blokette,” which transforms traditionally masculine styles with feminine whimsy by adding bows and pink to jerseys and baggy jeans.

Examples of real vs. fake coquette

Curious about how to tell the difference between real and fake coquette? If you're a visual learner, here are some videos with helpful examples.

@ellcoquettex Hyper feminine is NOT coquette #coquette#hyperfeminine #aesthetic #lanadelrey#realvsfake#bffr#fyp ♬ som original - Vbedit.x????????

@noyomina Marie antoinette’s bedroom in versalles ???????????? #fypシ #travel #france #paris #versalles #marieantoinette ♬ original sound - scara - catagliia

@coqxette Your more than welcome if your new to the coquette aesthetic/style and hopefully my videos help you understand a bit more! ???? #foryoupage #foryou #coquette #lanadelrey #coquetteaesthetic #aesthetic #lanadelreyaesthetic ♬ original sound - Fourmgallery

@cokeaddict444 since ppl kept arguing with my last one ୨୧ • #clothes #coquette #coquetteaesthetic #coquettecore #aesthetic #pink #pinkaesthetic #pinkaestheticvideo #victoriassecret #victoriassecretfashionshow #victoriasecrets #lanadelrey #coquettefashion #coquettegirl #dior #chanel #victoriasecretsupermodel #victoriasecretshows #victoriasecretmodels #starbucks #cute #clothes #fashion #fashiontiktok #pinktok #girlygirl #girlygirlaesthetic #girlygirls #girlygirlstyle #girlyaesthetic #femimineenergy #femininepower #vs #victoriasecret #model #clothing #fashiontok #wishlist #rich #wealthy #chanelperfume #chanel #cocochanel #chanelhairmist #perfume #perfumetiktok #perfumetok #selfcare #selfimprovement #luxury #luxurylife #luxurybrand #christmas #christmastree #christmascountdown #christmastiktok #christmastiktok #winter #winterfashion #winterfit #winterbreak #wintervibes #coquettewinter #coquettewinteroutfits #coquettechristmas #aestheticchristmas #aestheticwinter #featureme #tiktokfamous #repost #viralvideo #viralvideos #viralpost #beautyblogger #motivation #makeup #makeuptutorial #makeupartist #makeuphacks #makeuptips #makeuproutine #aesthetic #1950s #1950 #1950sfashion #1950sstyle #1930s #1930 #elegant #elegance #marilynmonroe #marilyn #marilynmonroeedit #audreyhepburn #audrey #breakfastattiffanys #breakfastattiffany #oldhollywood #oldhollywoodglam #oldhousetiktok #oldhollywoodmovies #oldhollywoodedit #oldhollywoodvibe #oldhollywoodglamour #oldhollywoodactress #oldhollywoodmakeup #oldhollywoodrobe ♬ original sound - Ｊ∈⟆∈ ❄️ - jese

As you foray into any subculture or community, it’s worth noting its history and the characteristics that make it unique. Still, coquette is a style at the end of the day, so you shouldn’t be afraid of getting creative and experimenting with different looks—and with its fraught origins, perhaps a little change isn't such a bad thing!

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