The Macbeths Listen and Don’t Judge

We listen and we don’t judge.

LADY MACBETH: I hate it when you introduce me as your “Dearest partner of greatness.” What’s wrong with “wife”?

We listen and we don’t judge.

MACBETH: I know I said, “Bring forth men-children only,” but I’ve always dreamed of being a Girl Dad.

We listen and we don’t judge.

LADY MACBETH: If you invite overnight guests to stay with us again without checking with me first, I will kill you them.

We listen and we don’t judge.

MACBETH: I don’t know what the poor cat does in the adage, okay? Every time you bring it up, I just nod.

We listen and we don’t judge.

LADY MACBETH: Sometimes, when you’re about to confess to murder, I pretend to faint so everyone pays attention to me instead.

We listen and we don’t judge.

MACBETH: I didn’t forget to smear the sleeping grooms with blood. I just wanted you to do it.

We listen and we don’t judge.

LADY MACBETH: I hate hosting dinner parties. I know he’s your friend, but Banquo always shows up late, and his kid screams the ENTIRE time.

We listen and we don’t judge.

MACBETH: I am in blood stepped in so far that, should I wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o’er.

We listen and we don’t judge.

LADY MACBETH: I replaced your Ambien with Ritalin.

We listen and we don’t judge.

MACBETH: I honestly think the handwashing is becoming a little obsessive.