Dear Abby: Anglo woman using Spanish fears she may be out of line

Dear Abby: I am a retired librarian who lives in Texas. Recently, a friend who is Latino told me that if an Anglo speaks Spanish to a Latino person, it’s considered an insult because it implies that the Latino person is “too stupid” to learn English. [...] I’m being told that it’s insulting and intrusive? I can’t believe all Latino people feel this way, but I don’t know what to do with this information. After reading your letter, I polled a focus group of Spanish-speaking friends about it. If it has been several generations, the people you are addressing might identify more as English speakers than Spanish speakers, and consider your addressing them in Spanish to be condescending because it implies that you don’t think they have learned English. If your relationship with your neighbors is a good one, tell them what you were told and ask if you may have offended them because if you have, you would like to apologize. Yet, only minutes after we start, she becomes an engineer and starts telling me how to do things. Even though you’re the expert, it appears your wife would like to offer some creative input. If you become so volatile that you lose control when working on projects with her, the obvious answer is to refrain from doing them together.