‘Floodlighting’: The new relationship infodumping term, explained
Floodlighting refers to the act of sharing excessive personal information early in a relationship, creating a false sense of intimacy.
In the evolving landscape of modern relationships, new terms frequently emerge to describe complex interpersonal behaviors. One such term gaining attention is "floodlighting," introduced by Brené Brown, author of The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connections and Courage.
What is the ‘Floodlighting’ dating trend?
Brené Brown coined the term ‘floodlighting’ to describe a behavior where people overshare as a defense mechanism. Floodlighting usually happens early on in a relationship or friendship to mask vulnerabilities. She explains, "Oversharing? Not vulnerability; I call it floodlighting. [...] A lot of times we share too much information as a way to protect us from vulnerability." This approach often serves to shield individuals from genuine emotional exposure by overwhelming others with personal details.
Jessica Alderson, co-founder of the dating app So Synced, elaborates in an interview with Glamour that floodlighting involves sharing a lot of personal details all at once to test the waters, speed up intimacy, or see if the other person can handle these parts of you.
What is the difference between floodlighting and oversharing?
While floodlighting shares similarities with trauma-dumping and oversharing, subtle distinctions exist among these behaviors. Oversharing involves disclosing personal information without considering the appropriateness of the context or the comfort level of the listener. It often stems from a lack of social awareness rather than intentional manipulation.
According to an article from Psychology Today, oversharing stems from being nervous or emotional. People enjoy sharing personal information because it feels good and can be beneficial in social situations. Many people do this to form a connection with others, but oversharing can counteract these desires.
Floodlighting and trauma-dumping are very similar, but with different end goals. Trauma-dumping, also known as emotional dumping, occurs when someone unloads traumatic experiences without regard for the listener's emotional state or consent. It's characterized by sharing intense personal stories in inappropriate settings, often overwhelming the recipient.
Floodlighting, meanwhile, is a form of oversharing specifically used as a defense mechanism against vulnerability. It involves sharing excessive personal details early on in a relationship. This is done to create a false sense of intimacy or to test the other person's tolerance—usually with ill intent.
Responses on TikTok
TikToker and actress Becca Tobin (@becca) has talked about floodlighting on the Ladygang podcast she hosts along with E! News host Keltie Knight and fashion designer Jac Vanek.
Tobin’s TikTok video got mixed reactions. Some people agree with the description, while others say that it’s just how older people make friends.
"I feel like flood lighting, happens so much more as you try to make friends when you’re older, because of those are the only people that are open enough to talk to you! Honestly exhausting!" writes one TikToker.
Another person says, "what I don't like about this is there are people that like to be up front. I've always been like this it's just being honest. I raise 3 kids by myself if you want to call My character into question."
@becca Floodlighting ???? thank you @Brené Brown ❤️ @The LadyGang ???? #ladygangpodcast #brenebrown #floodlight #podcast #goodweek #rhoslcbravo #theladygang ♬ original sound - Becca Tobin
The internet is chaotic—but we’ll break it down for you in one daily email. Sign up for the Daily Dot’s web_crawlr newsletter here to get the best (and worst) of the internet straight into your inbox.
Sign up to receive the Daily Dot’s Internet Insider newsletter for urgent news from the frontline of online.
The post ‘Floodlighting’: The new relationship infodumping term, explained appeared first on The Daily Dot.