“Created anxious, entitled, people-pleasing kids”: This mom used “gentle parenting” for 10 years. Now, she’s trying to undo it
A mom who spent a decade committed to "gentle parenting" says she only recently realized she’d been doing it wrong.
In a viral Instagram reel from Nov. 10, 2025, creator Jaclyn Williams explained that her attempt to avoid harsh discipline gradually morphed into permissive parenting, something she didn’t recognize until her children began showing signs of anxiety, entitlement, and insecurity.
Williams said she turned things around with "authoritative parenting” techniques that relied on connection, validation and empathy in an environment with plenty of structure maintained by clear boundaries, consistent limits, and natural consequences.
The reel resonated with many parents who have had success using a gentle parenting approach. They pointed out that people get gentle parenting wrong and veer into permissive parenting when they lose track of boundaries and consequences.
The pitfalls of gentle parenting
William’s reel included onscreen text that read, “I can spot gentle parenting’ kids because I raised two of them… 10 years later… I’m having to undo it…”
Where’d she go wrong? Williams said she allowed her children to overprocess by indulging them for up to twenty minutes of emotional validation. She explained too many boundaries, leading her children to believe everything is negotiable.
Finally, she said that she allowed too many compromises and didn’t teach her children about real limits. By implementing more structure while maintaining empathy and respect for her children, she saw improvements in their development and behavior.
Williams added that a lot of parents make these mistakes because parenting is hard. “A lot of parents do this,” she assured her followers. “There's no shame or guilt allowed here, parenting is HARD!”
What is gentle parenting?
According to Brown University, gentle parenting emphasizes communication, empathy, and respect. The parent-child connection is fostered through guidance from an understanding parent acting as a teacher.
The method prioritizes appropriate developmental expectations, strong boundaries, and it forgoes managing children’s behavior with punishment or reward. Some families have found that gentle parenting can strengthen the parent-child bond, help children build self-awareness, and improve the family dynamic in general.
Critics of gentle parenting strategies worry that it can overemphasize the self and interfere with the development of empathy. Skeptics point out that not all parents have the time or energy to process each and every one of their child’s emotions and whims.
"Gentle parenting IS authoritative parenting"
Commenters discussed how misunderstandings about gentle parenting lead parents to improperly apply the method or dismiss it too quickly.
“I appreciate this topic! I’m tired of gentle parenting slander when they actually mean passive!”
“I’m afraid people are getting gentle parenting and permissive parenting mixed up. You can be gentle and authoritative at the same time.”
“Gentle parenting IS authoritative parenting and I will scream this from the rooftops.”
“Gentle parenting is simply not beating or yelling at your kids when you can’t handle them and I will stand by that. Doesn’t mean you’re letting them do whatever they want like some of these people think.”
Jaclyn Williams did not immediately reply to the Daily Dot's request for comment via contact form.
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The post “Created anxious, entitled, people-pleasing kids”: This mom used “gentle parenting” for 10 years. Now, she’s trying to undo it appeared first on The Daily Dot.