Women Aren't Conspiracy Theorist 'Wine Moms' for Wondering Where Kate Middleton Is

I would say there’s something rotten in the state of England, but that’s been true for a long, long time. The stink currently emanating from across the ocean has some familiar notes, but still, it’s fresh. It’s different. For once, a princess isn’t in obvious distress. She is simply…missing. For those of you who haven’t been obsessively following every headline and social media rumor, the Princess of Wales (AKA Kate Middleton) hasn’t been seen in public since Christmas. In mid-January, Kensington Palace issued a vague statement about abdominal surgery and a lengthy recovery period that would end after Easter. After a period of everyone moving on with their lives, people began to clock how unusual this was (especially as King Charles is dealing with a cancer diagnosis, which he's at least been a bit more forthright about). Fast forward a few weeks, and the internet did what the internet does: As some people posit speculation anywhere from sober to unhinged, other people have taken it upon themselves to publish scolding pieces, positing that anyone who dares to call BS on the palace is either super rude, a weirdo, or a wacko conspiracy theorist akin to acolytes of Q. In particular, a piece by Helen Lewis in The Atlantic levels the charge that Kate Middleton “truthers” are nothing more than delusional, bored "wine moms." First, let me slow clap for the fresh and fun use of “mom” as a pejorative. I’m a mom who drinks wine and is deeply invested in this fiasco, so this does feel like a shot across my specific bow. But attributing all of the conversation to the nattering nabobs of Nebbiolo is disingenuous. From late night hosts to real news orgs, folks—with and without kids!— are curious. Some of them are even dads! That curiosity is something that Lewis acknowledges in the piece. And it’s no mistake that much of the real inquiry is coming from America. As Lewis outlines, journalists in the U.K. tend to lay off the royals when the royals request it in order to preserve their place in the "royal rota." That basically means that, if they play ball with the royals, media outlets maintain what Lewis calls “close” access to the fam. "Close," like friends! I would say it's more like “controlled” access but sure. Whatever the description, there’s massive incentive to obey the crown.  So that’s why, when the princess (via the palace) asked for privacy, it was largely granted. Then, on U.K. Mother's Day, Kensington Palace broke their self-imposed silence, putting out an image of Kate and her kids. As you've likely heard, that image turned out to be so doctored that news organizations around the world pulled it after publication. And that’s when the questions really began.  Which is Lewis’s other problem: She says that the wine moms are using “the favored format of conspiracists everywhere: just asking questions.” Well…yes. People are asking questions. When did curiosity—and even justified suspicion—become the realm solely of conspiracy theorists? The world has been presented with an incongruous account of a public figure’s almost total disappearance, a doctored photo as proof of life, all set against the backdrop of a monarchy whose most recent scandal involved a duchess being driven across the ocean by racism and an ignored mental health crisis. So yeah, we have questions. I admit, there’s a thin line between conspiracy theorizing and demanding accountability (as thin as the line between public and private life for royals). And sure, those lines get blurry when the theories and questions are being posited by the internet at large. But whatever you might think…