I’ve been wed five times like Patsy Kensit – I think I’ve found The One at last
AFTER her fourth marriage ended, actress Patsy Kensit was a “million per cent” convinced she would never tie the knot again.
Yet the 54-year-old has now just announced her fifth engagement, to property tycoon Patric Cassidy, 58, following a romantic beach proposal.
Five-times-wed Helen Meissner, 56, a record producer and podcaster, knows only too well the lure of a wedding.
Four divorces spanning her twenties, thirties, forties and fifties didn’t stop her marrying yet again, to John Froggett, 64.
Here, she reflects on each of her previous unions and why she thinks John, an accountant, is finally The One . . .
“If someone told me on my wedding day in 1986 that it would be the first of five, I’d have said they were mad.
“I was elated when my first love, family friend Phillip*, proposed on holiday in Gran Canaria the previous year.
“We had a church wedding with 70 guests, and a reception in a hotel.
“I was a wide-eyed 20-year-old and thought the marriage would last for ever.
“We’d been together since I was 16 but a couple of years later we grew apart.
“We were the best of friends — it would have been so easy to settle — but then I met Tom* through work.
“The feelings were both unexpected and unwelcome but they were so strong, I simply couldn’t continue in my marriage.
‘My parents disapproved’
“I was honest with Phillip and, surprisingly, he was understanding and agreed our marriage should end.
“My parents were disapproving. My mother felt I’d made my bed and should lie in it.
“But Phillip and I separated amicably, and divorced in 1993, and Tom and I started living together.
“I loved him and knew I wanted children with him. We married in June 1994 when I was 27 and he was 36.
“I was still firm friends with Phillip, and he and his new partner were the only guests.
“I was determined it would work — all the upset had to be for something.
“Tom and I had our first child, Charlie, now 27, in 1995.
“But sadly the strain of living together and having a family while running our own businesses started to show.
“It had all moved so fast and we weren’t as compatible as I first thought.
“When Charlie was six months old, Tom and I had couple counselling.
“It helped, and we went on to have Lewis, now 25.
“But despite trying hard to make the marriage succeed, we both knew we had to end it. For our sake, and the kids’.
“I thought I’d be single for a long time, to take time to reflect, but then I developed feelings for Martin*.
“He was a client who lived nearby and our professional relationship blossomed into love.
“Within weeks we started seeing each other and when he proposed six months on, I said yes.
“In 2003, when I was 35, we married. I loved him — I wanted to feel like part of a family — and while Martin didn’t have kids of his own, he was brilliant with mine.
“But the passion was missing right from the start. Initially, I accepted it, because I’d learned during my failed marriage with Tom that attraction wasn’t the be all and end all.
“But as my 40th birthday drew closer I started re-evaluating. I realised I didn’t want to spend the next 40 years in the marriage.
“We stopped communicating and the last year of our seven-year marriage was tough.
“During that time, we became friends with a couple — the man’s name was Simon*.
“One night, Martin caught me kissing him in the kitchen.
“It hurt him badly and he quickly called time on the marriage. The split wasn’t messy but it was very sad.
“For Simon, I felt a fierce attraction. We moved in together and married in 2008, when I was 42.
“I felt judged by many people but I have always refused to let judgment dictate relationships.
“Even my father commented on how I should “skip marrying this one and marry the next” and both my parents were becoming increasingly exasperated.
“I realise now that I never really got to know Simon, and vice versa.
“In many ways my relationship with him was brilliant and we got on amazingly.
“But we were very similar and would row, as we each wanted to be ‘top dog’.
“In 2010 I was diagnosed with breast cancer and, while Simon was supportive, it made me question everything.
“We had a holiday house in France and while he wanted to spend more time there, I wanted to be in the UK.
“On one trip, back in 2017, I realised I didn’t want to return to France and it signalled the end of the marriage.
“This split hit me the hardest of all.
“I felt distraught and overwhelmed and blamed myself. After all, I was the one with four failed marriages behind me.
‘He crossed fingers for luck’
“But it takes two for a relationship to thrive.
“After our divorce was finalised five years ago, I was determined to spend some time on my own. It lasted six months, the longest break I’ve ever had.
“Eventually, I felt ready to start again. In March 2018 I met John on a dating app.
“We went for lunch and I was attracted to his zest for life. We have been inseparable ever since.
“He wasn’t interested in my romantic history when he repeatedly asked me to marry him — and 15 months later I agreed.
“As he signed the register at our August 2019 wedding, he flashed his crossed fingers for luck.
“Even my father joked when he gave me away that I “keep on coming back”.
“It’s hard to explain why I have been married so many times — other than I’m an incurable optimist and romantic.
“I see the best in everyone. And every time I believed it was ’till death do us part’.
“Crucially, my children have been supportive, and they say how my multiple marriages enriched their lives.
“While they aren’t cynical about relationships, or against marriage, they realise it’s not a given that one will last.
“But I’m sure this one will work. I’ve finally met someone who’s a match, and it’s life-affirming.
“It is a mix of passion and friendship, which I now know I need.
“John wants adventure and change — he’s an accountant but has taken up singing and presents a show on Royston Radio.
“When I reflect on my earlier marriages I realise I craved security but also variety.
“Leaving a marriage isn’t shameful and I’ve experienced a ‘man for all seasons’ as my life has evolved.
“Will John be my final husband? There are no guarantees. But I know for certain I believe in our marriage.
“And while some might judge me harshly on the decisions I’ve made, I know I’ve stayed true to myself.”
- All the ex-husbands’ names are changed.