Dear Abby: My boyfriend doesn’t want this woman to know about me
He says they aren't having sex but that our relationship would upset her.
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, “Rick,” and I broke up 10 years ago and reunited two years ago. I’m in good health, own my own home, and am financially independent. Rick is nine years older. He owns his own home and is retired.
We have been seeing each other every week for the last two years. He has spent many hours painting and doing repairs to my house. I cook for him and give him massages, and we have a fantastic sex life.
So, what is the problem? Rick is emotionally involved with another woman. He claims they aren’t in any way sexually involved.
Should I tell her about his involvement with me? I have her name, address and phone number. Rick refuses to tell her about me because he says it will “upset her.” I think she ought to know.
What do you think I should do? I love him dearly and don’t want to lose him.
— BEING PLAYED IN NEW JERSEY?
DEAR BEING PLAYED?: Listen to your intuition. The first thing you should do (if you haven’t) is ask Rick why that woman’s knowing about you would “upset” her. (Does she think his relationship with her is exclusive?)
The second would be to tell him you would like him to introduce the two of you. If he refuses, call her. You deserve to know exactly what’s going on, which may be that they are much more involved than he has been admitting.
DEAR ABBY: My friend “Chris” and I decided to go on a weekend trip together. The tickets had to be purchased before they sold out. I told Chris I’d put them on my credit card, and Chris agreed to pay me back.
Our original plan was to stay with a group of people, but at the last minute, Chris admitted to being upset that it wasn’t just the two of us. Not wanting to upset Chris, I canceled plans with the other group.
Chris offered to pay for the food, which I thought was great and would replace some of what was owed me. But when we got to the register, Chris stepped back so I would pay. Almost as soon as we got to the hotel, Chris and Chris’ partner got in an argument on the phone and spent most of the trip arguing via text.
The night before we were supposed to go home, Chris and I got into an argument. I lost Chris in a crowd, and when I got back to the hotel, they were packing their bag to leave. We sat down, talked and agreed tensions were high, but Chris still wanted to end the trip early.
The trip was three months ago. Since then, I have texted Chris multiple times asking to be repaid and have received no response.
I thought maybe Chris is mad at me, but they still send me our traditional daily meme.
Abby, they offered to pay me back a few times before the trip but never followed through. At this point, I don’t know what to do.
— TRIPPING OUT IN INDIANA
DEAR TRIPPING OUT: At this point, you should write off the money you are due from Chris. It should be clear by now that your friend is a flake and has other issues as well.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.