Rereading the (Shockingly Hard to Find) Preppy Handbook
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In the fall of 1980, as a hoard of alligator-emblazoned Princeton freshmen put that firm handshake they’d spent the summer practicing to work, four people were hosting a book release party. Jonathan Roberts, Lisa Birnbach, Carol McD. Wallace, and Mason Wiley had sold Workman Publishing The Official Preppy Handbook on the premise that there need to be an urtext, a tome intended codifying the WASP culture2 they had encountered (and mocking it). Four decades and at least a dozen “revivals” of the prep aesthetic later, the Boomer quadwear bible is weirdly hard to find after it stopped reprinting after its heyday 80s wave. It exists largely in the abstract. Something that made dad laugh.
But it is, of course, possible to get one hands on a copy if one is determined enough. SPY pulled it off by winning an auction then poured through the pages, which are littered with advice and insights. Some held up. Some… not so much. Here’s a breakdown.
The Handbook Says…“It is the inalienable right of every man, woman, and child, to wear khaki.”
SPY Says…Sure? This probably sounded revolutionary in 1980 when Levis were on the march, but today, most preppy people have swapped out tan khaki for the garment-dyed chinos popularized from J. Crew and Ralph Lauren..
The Handbook Says…“‘Anglophilia (Listed under Fashion Fundamentals) The British have a lot for: Shetland sweaters, Harris tweeds, Burberrys, tartans, regimental ties.”
SPY Says…It’s certainly true that repp ties, duffle coats, tennis sweaters, Oxford cloth, and University striped shirts are all very English. That said, whatever American deference to Britain existed forty years ago has long since evaporated. Many of the best prep clothes are now Japanese reimaginings of American rip offs of English staples. Globalism baby.
The Handbook Says…“A preppy ambition is directed toward imbibition. Failure to master the skill of consuming large amounts of alcohol will result in a lifetime of denied invitations.”
SPY Says…Replace “imbibition” with “Crossfit” and this feels about right. Makes one nostalgic for a drunker time (provided “one” happens to be a white guy unlikely to suffer the consequences of his inebriated actions).
The Handbook Says… “Men’s Clothes. Either actual garments from a man’s wardrobe (button-down shirts, shetland sweaters, anything from LL Bean)…Other peoples’ things have inherited charm…like your boyfriend’s Lacoste.”
SPY Says…The Handbook is suggesting (in case you missed it) that women look good in their boyfriend’s clothes. This is true whether the boyfriends of the world like it or not. The “boyfriend hoodie” is still a staple. Shirts go missing. Love is, as Tina Turner put it, a secondhand emotion.
The Handbook Says…“If there is one fabric that is quintessentially preppy, it is madras. True madras, of course…The real thing is one of the oldest fabrics in the cotton trade. What sets true madras apart is that it ‘bleeds,’ the murky colors—navy blue, mustard yellow, maroon—of its distinctive plaid are imparted by vegetable dyes that are guaranteed to run.”
SPY Says…Perhaps the most specific sartorial advice given in a modern pop song comes courtesy of Vampire Weekend: “Dress yourself in bleeding madras/Charm your way across the Khyber Pass.” The first recommendation? Solid. The second? Iffy.
The Handbook Says… “A favorite for preppies who fancy themselves as dandies is the monogram on the left sleeve at the elbow. Hardly anyone ever sees it there.”
SPY Says…This seems like a genuinely good idea.
The Handbook Says…“Everything is used: the Georgian silver is on the table for all meals. The Canton china is chipped regularly by the dishwasher. And not using certain rooms except for special occasions would be like wearing curlers in public.”
SPY Says…This sort of advice could be mistaken in a modern context as a cottagecore cri de coeur. But it ain’t that. The idea here is to have nice things and use them until they maybe look a bit less nice then they did at one time. This is right minded. A good lesson from the WASPs. Possessions, like the human body, are meant to be used – even if that leads to occasional awkwardness and breakages.
The Handbook Says…“Most prep men suffer from the virgin/whore complex, and they only want to have sex with ‘bad’ women. This is all very well for the non-prep sexpots who oblige them, as long as they expect nothing but a good time and a polite ‘Thank you.’ Prep men will not marry these women. They will marry other preppies…What a preppy man looks for in a wife is nothing less than perfection—as embodied in his mother.”
SPY Says…Yikes.
(Under Transforming the Dorm Room, listing music albums that are key to have on-hand) “Supremes: Greatest Hits, Beach Boys, Rampal’s Suite for Flute and Jazz Piano, J. Geils, B-52s, Rolling Stones’s ‘Exile on Main Street.’”
SPY Says… This is a perfect list. No notes. The Rampal may seem out of place, but it has maybe the greatest album artwork ever.