Millennial parenting is facing a brutal reckoning as TikTok turns against it

Millennial parents say they're trying their best with their kids, but as concerns about Gen Alpha have begun to rise, they're facing increasing criticism online.

• On TikTok, backlash against millennial parents is mounting rapidly. 
• Online users are worried Gen Alpha "can't read" and is addicted to iPads. They blame millennials. 
• Some millennials say they're overloaded with information and struggle with parenting decisions. 

Millennials have long argued they're a punching bag for other generations, often getting stuck with the blame for a plethora of issues people are noticing in the wider world.

Despite many millennials finally being in their adulting era, they still haven't escaped criticism — and the latest blow is being directed at their parenting skills.

In recent weeks, criticism of "millennial parenting" has been mounting on TikTok. As Gen Alpha is growing up and going to school, concerns have been rising online over how they're performing socially and academically.

TikTok users, including educators, have been raising complaints that young children are struggling to read and write at the expected level. Some have blamed screen time for negatively impacting children's academic ability — Gen Alpha children have even been dubbed with the nickname "iPad Kids," due to the stereotype that they're constantly glued to technology.

Though it's not clear how widespread or accurate some of these concerns are, millennials, who are predominantly raising Gen Alpha, are directly in the line of fire when it comes to assigning blame.

"I need to ask millennials, why are your kids so awful and more importantly why do you think it's so funny?" said a TikTok creator with the username @allanadinh in a viral post from November that went mega-viral, receiving 6.7 million views.

TikTok has long been a space for generation groups to mock each other and critique each other's parenting styles. Boomers have previously taken a lot of heat for their parenting, which has a reputation for not prioritizing strong connections with their children, and their performance as grandparents has been called into question too.

Now, it's the millennials' turn in the hot seat.

Millennial parents say they're breaking generational cycles, but they're being called out for perceived issues with Gen Alpha

As with many aspects of their lives, millennials have used parenting as a way to prove they're not like other generations.

An entire genre of TikTok videos is dedicated to praising millennial dads, who people argue are more hands-on than previous generations of fathers.

Another huge trend among millennials is "gentle parenting" a method that attempts to create an emotionally stable environment for a child. It's exploded on TikTok, where parents share videos of themselves implementing the method at home, and has become associated with younger parents, particularly millennials and Gen Zers.

Some parents who have posted about their use of the method have explicitly stated they're using gentle parenting as a way to counteract harsh treatment or trauma from their own childhoods.

However, the notion that millennial parenting is superior is beginning to come crashing down — the very method that millennials are touting as cycle-breaking and different to previous generations is now coming back to bite them.

Some users have started to criticize the millennial interpretation of gentle parenting, saying that parents are misunderstanding the method by being too lenient. Multiple gentle parenting creators and experts previously told Business Insider that the method is intended to have high levels of discipline, and that much of the criticism is based on misconceptions of what viewers think it entails, although it's possible some parents are also misunderstanding the framework.

Millennials' reputation for being conflict-averse also seems to be driving some of the criticism towards them, as some creators have argued they're too "scared" to discipline their children, while others accuse them of poorly managing their children's screen time out of laziness.

These complaints about millennial parents are growing in tandem with a rise in content that's unaffectionately being referred to as "Kids can't read TikTok." Creators have been making sweeping statements about how Gen Alphas struggle with literacy skills or write and blaming parents for giving them too much access to technology.

Some people making these arguments are basing them on anecdotal experience with Gen Alphas in their lives, although many don't specify where they're getting their impression from.

According to the Education Department's National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP), more fourth graders are struggling with reading than their 2019 counterparts were, which has led to the conclusion that the decline is down to the pandemic. However, others have pointed out that reading levels are actually higher than they were according to the same report in 1992 — when Gen Xers and millennials were at school.

Either way, on TikTok the narrative that Gen Alpha is struggling has taken hold, and their parents are getting the blame.

Millennial parents say they're trying their best, but they're also suffering from information overload

Though they're being accused of raising a generation of badly behaved "iPad kids," millennials are being vocal online about trying their best to be good parents.

In early December, an elementary school teacher went against the grain of online users complaining about millennial parents, sharing a TikTok where she complimented Gen Alpha kids for their emotional intelligence and praised their parents for breaking toxic generational cycles. A number of millennial parents who commented on the clip seemed grateful that their parenting efforts were finally being recognized.

Some millennials have also made their own videos addressing the recent backlash against their generation, saying that the reason they're struggling is because they have access to too much information about parenting, resulting in them second-guessing everything and losing trust in their natural parenting instincts.

As for Gen Z, they too have internalized the narrative that millennials are raising a generation of badly behaved "iPad kids," and vowing to do better when they become parents.

For now, Gen Z's posts on the topic are going down well, but if there's anything they can learn from millennials it's that online public opinion on a generation's parenting can take a turn — fast.

We have yet to see what TikTok will have to say when Gen Beta starts learning to read.