Kamie Crawford’s Dream Job Is Other People’s Business
The No. 1 rule of meeting someone online: Get them on a video call. So, how do I know I’m not being catfished by a Kamie Crawford impersonator when she answers the phone? Minutes into our conversation, she wants to know my star sign. Whether it’s a Catfish hopeful, a dreaded hookup on Ex on the Beach, or, you know, an embattled star on her podcast Relationshit, reality-TV host and scholar Crawford wants to know who — and what — she’s working with. Scorpio season just ended (I offered condolences to the now-31-year-old), so technically, she’s in her sweet spot — “a good push into the holidays” after a long year that included debuting her hosting skills on Are You the One? and Ex.
Reality-tv hosting appears to be an increasingly specialized skill, even though networks and streamers love to pluck familiar faces from the “What’s in my Bag” section of Us Weekly or pay a semi-recognizable comedian enough to tone down their whole shtick. As Miss Teen USA 2010, Crawford could’ve easily taken the route of other pageant queens turned reality stars, like Bachelorette’s Hannah Brown or Rachel Leviss of Vanderpump Rules infamy. Instead, she’s carrying MTV’s tentpole reality shows on her back. Joining Catfish: The TV Show as host alongside Nev Schulman in 2018 “felt like destiny.” “My first time meeting Nev was when the cameras started rolling and I just remember instantly feeling so at ease and at home,” she remembers. “It all clicked for me, right away. This is what I’m meant to do. A few months later, when Nev called me and asked me to be the permanent co-host, I was like, ‘I already am your co-host, bro. I don’t know what you thought this was.’”
Among 2023’s reality mess, an actual fan was the only one brave enough to ask the hard questions, wave the red flags, and hold it down when things get a little too out of pocket. “Despite my many facial expressions, it is a judgment-free zone,” she says. If you need proof Crawford is true to this, at one point in the interview, she rattles off a list of classic MTV and VH1 shows too long to print. Then: “Bliss and Zack just announced that they’re pregnant!” She tells me the news like we’re gossiping about old college friends. “I’m over the moon. Vanessa finally got her Love Is Blind baby!”
(Also, I’m a Cancer.)
How do you go about navigating tense situations on Catfish?
Every single episode is different. I think that’s what I love about it. I’m forced to be grounded in every scenario and situation, because I don’t know who I’m dealing with. I don’t know their past trauma; I don’t know their relationship history. I love getting to know people and I love when people spill their tea to me, which is a common thing. I’ll go to the grocery store, and somebody will be spilling their tea to me in line.
At what point did Nev go from co-worker to feeling like a brother?Immediately. He’s always trying to find new things to surprise me with or scare me or whatever it might be. And I’m just … I just can’t.
He has his henchmen. They all know how to get me. He can’t do anything at this point without me being like, “Okay, what are you about to do? I’m not opening that weird box.”
You have your bits on the show, too. Red flags weren’t a thing until you.
I’m just glad people are noticing them. Whether they come from me or someone else, just make sure you’re on the lookout. Keep your head on a swivel, kids.
When you get to your destination, what goes through your head while Nev is approaching the door?
“Just knock.” Don’t try to jiggle the handle. Don’t step foot inside. We have — spoiler alert — an episode coming where he just barges in. These are things that me, as a Black person in America, I’m just not doing.
I never know what kind of energy I’m going to be met with. That can be anxiety-inducing at times. When people come on the show and they want to take their rage out, it’s usually directed at me, because I’m usually the person who’s pressing with the annoying questions that they don’t want to answer. I just always have to prepare myself for battle.
How do you consider Catfish’s social mission?
I remember talking to Max Joseph my first year officially on the job about how cool it is that now when certain topics come up, we can really speak to them, because there’s more perspective there. Whereas before, sometimes they felt like it wasn’t their place to speak on certain issues or that they didn’t have the knowledge or the range to be able to have certain conversations.
If something is happening at the same time we’re filming, like Black Lives Matter protests, or, I mean, we filmed in Colorado Springs a week after the shooting at that nightclub happened, being able to talk to people about what they’re going through very much keeps us rooted in why we are here. Maybe there’s only a few people who can identify with some of the topics we’re talking about, but anyone who’s watching can learn.
Is there anybody from the show who stuck with you, either emotionally or literally, and you keep in touch with on social media?
During the pandemic, I had to actively practice not holding on to people we were helping. I was getting very attached to looking them up and seeing where they are and following up. I’ve had to learn how to disconnect a little bit to be able to protect my mental health and my own heart. Even still, we have stories and people who come on the show that I think about regularly. Most recently, Ibrahim, I think captured everybody’s hearts who watched that episode. He was missing a few of his teeth because of an incident that happened in his hometown. There was obviously an outcry from fans being like, “You guys have to help him.” And the thing with that is if we help one person, we have to help everybody. But what we can do and what I actively did was seek out help from people who would be able to help him pro bono. I was able to help him share his GoFundMe, and he’s still been messaging me about ideas to pay it forward and help other people who are having insecurities with their smiles as well.
Also, Carmela, a trans woman from Arkansas who came on the show, she’s written into my podcast asking for advice. We’ve kept in touch about her transition and her finding confidence in herself to be able to be herself online.
Both really good examples of episodes that don’t end in a relationship but facilitate really interesting conversations about self-esteem.
Some people love the love stories. Some people don’t like when the episodes are sad. There’s always some level of sadness or heartbreak or hurt that’s happening. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have a show. It’s not just for entertainment purposes.
What can traditional dating shows learn from Catfish?
I am a longtime reality-TV fan, and I love when things just play out. I don’t like a lot of producer manipulation and editing.
I wish more people did what we do on Catfish. Nev is a stickler about it looking and feeling exactly the way it played out. Very much docu-style. I know that most reality shows can’t operate like that, and have a recipe we enjoy, but it would be great to see more real moments. Even on Catfish, I don’t always give notes, but I have a really tight relationship with our editor, so I’ll text him, “Hey, there was this moment that happened on this day that’s not in this edit. If you can find ten seconds to cut from somewhere else to put that in, it would really bring great context to this conversation.”
What was the biggest change for you going from a docu-style show like Catfish to a more structured hosting format on Are You the One? and Ex on the Beach?
It was different, mainly because I was running the ship. If we weren’t filming, then I’m chilling with my cast, getting to know them, finding out their dreams, learning more about their exes, learning about their relationships with their dads. It helps, too, when we’re in a big group and somebody does something I don’t like and I have to call them out on it. I wish Are You the One? showed more of that. They have so much respect for me as their big sister and their host that they would come to me.
For Ex on the Beach, it was a lot more reliant on just me. Producers were saying they wanted it to feel like my podcast where I am giving out relationship advice. It was a lot more challenging because I’m dealing with their version and the other person’s version of “I didn’t text her back, because I was doing X, Y, and Z,” and having to find the middle ground.
What would a dating-show spinoff of Relationshit be like?
Probably similar to that show that was on YouTube, what was it called? Where they had, like, that viral video of cheating bae or something like that? And they’re sitting across from each other and they’re talking about the ways they hurt each other. But imagine if there was a mediator between them, kind of like couples therapy, but a version where the person who’s the couples therapist doesn’t have the degree and qualifications. [Laughs.]