A former Google recruiter shares the 4 things that make you look really desperate when job searching

When job searching, an ex-Google recruiter says people should avoid coming across as desperate — employers could take advantage of it.

• Matt Opramolla has been a recruiter for over 5 years.
• He says oversharing during an interview and accepting an offer immediately makes you look desperate.
• Keep your answers concise, and always negotiate the terms of your job offer.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Matt Opramolla, a 32-year-old recruiter. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I started my career in sales and quickly transitioned into working for Indeed's internal startup agency called "Indeed higher." I did well there — I loved the work I was doing and knew I wanted to move into corporate recruiting.

Then I got a job at Google as a recruiter. I got to hire and work with some of the most amazing people. I also got to work on really impactful scalable hiring initiatives across the company. That was one of the best parts, and it was my favorite job.

People are desperate to find work today, especially with the many layoffs that have happened this year. I know this first-hand, because when I was laid off, I, too, was desperate to support my family any way I could.

But there are things that candidates should be aware of when looking for work — things that might make you look desperate to the company you're interviewing with. When you look desperate, employers might feel like you only want the job just to have a job and that you're not excited about their company specifically.

Looking desperate also gives you less negotiating power when it comes to the job offer. So here are three things you should stop doing and what you should do instead.

1. Asking for random referrals

As a recruiter, I get a lot of random LinkedIn messages or emails asking for referrals, but I don't have an established relationship or connection to that person. Recruiters usually aren't too keen on those "copy/paste" messages. Instead, you want to be tactful and respectful.

A better approach is to reach out to someone who has the job you want (or works on the team you want to be on) and have a friendly conversation with them. You could ask to learn more about the company or a specific project that you know they're working on. 

For example, you could write, "Hey, I see you're working on a specific avenue of AI and that really interests me. I have some thoughts on the topic. Would you be willing to chat for 15 to 20 minutes?" Then see what they say. 

You won't get a response from everyone, but if you're persistent, tactful, and respectful, it can later lead to a relationship. Then, if that team is hiring, they will think of you for putting in the extra effort.

2. Oversharing in the interview 

As a recruiter, one mistake I see a lot of interviewees make is oversharing or being unnecessarily transparent.

For example, it's not wise to discuss the details of a layoff, why you quit a former job, personal issues involving your finances, or your family. These things aren't relevant to your qualifications. Employers and interviewers are specifically trained not to ask questions around candidates' family or financial situation, so it's best not to bring it up. It's extraneous information that takes away from the focus of what the meeting should be about: your qualifications for the job.

I can think of a time where an interviewee said, "I have to pay my rent in two months or I'll be homeless." That comment made the conversation awkward, and while it may have been true and something the candidate was genuinely struggling with, it wasn't related to the job.

Another thing you shouldn't overshare is that you don't have other job options available to you.  This could lead to your being taken advantage of by an employer when it comes time for compensation negotiations. If they know you don't have any other options, they will likely low-ball you — they know they can get you for less money.

If you keep the company thinking you have other options, it may prompt a sense of urgency on their end and get back to you quicker (we all know they can sometimes take forever).

So keep your cards close to your chest and be tactful. Sharing less personal details is best, so remember to keep your answers concise.

3. Accepting the job offer immediately

When you receive a job offer, don't accept it immediately over the phone. Understand that if a company is offering you a role, they want you, and you can wait a day or two to decide. Make them sweat because you want to be in the power position, and push back at least once on something that's negotiable, like base salary, equity, sign-on bonus, or vacation time.

I've not heard of an offer being rescinded because someone asked for slightly more money than what was initially presented. Your recruiter should be your advocate, and the worst they can say is no. Just make sure your ask aligns with the compensation expectations you outlined for them in the beginning of the process.

4. Following up daily 

If you're being ghosted after your interview or if the communication is sporadic, follow up with the recruiter, but don't do it excessively. Instead, reach out once every one or two weeks, depending on how long the process is.

When you reach out, have a specific ask. For example, don't just ask for feedback, but ask something like: "We spoke about [specific topic] and I have some additional thoughts. Is it possible to send those to you?" 

With that said, you need to read the room. I tell candidates that I will reach out to them if there's an update. Personally, if the hiring process is taking longer than a week, I will reach out to them to tell them I don't have any updates, but not all recruiters do that so following up with them doesn't hurt.

If you're a big tech recruiter with helpful tips to share, email Alyshia Hull at ahull@insider.com.