I can’t stand my partner’s son
DEAR DEIDRE: My partner’s son never does anything to help in the house. His mum waits on him hand and foot.
I’m 64 and my partner’s 61. I’ve been living at my partner’s house for two years along with her 29-year-old son.
He lost his job at the beginning of the year and took months to find another one.
He now works away most of the week, returning home on a Friday night but never lifts a finger.
He usually gets up around midday at the weekend. I’m in the process of buying a little house near to where I used to live as I still work part-time.
My partner has asked if there will be a room for her lazy son. I believe he should be standing on his own two feet. I wouldn’t expect my two grown up daughters to come and live with me.
My children work long hours whereas my partner’s son complains if he has worked just seven hours a day and then thinks he deserves a medal.
My partner thinks he’s wonderful but he can’t even boil an egg.
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DEIDRE SAYS: I understand your frustration but your partner may be acting out of guilt after splitting with her son’s dad.
You must make your feelings known to your partner, calmly but assertively, but not when you feel angry.
Suggest she stops pandering to him. He will never feel grown up if she continues to treat him as a child.
Discuss with her if there is any room for compromise. He should be able to do things for himself. You can get further support from Family Lives (familylives.org.uk, 0808 800 2222).
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