I have learned how to live again after hitting rock bottom when my wife died
DEAR DEIDRE: I WROTE to you when I hit rock bottom after losing my wife and unborn baby in a horrific accident two years ago.
I thought I had nothing to live for but your help made all the difference.
I’m 37 and my beautiful wife was 32.
We were looking forward to the arrival of our child.
She went to visit her sister in the summer of 2022.
I had to work that day and was surprised that she wasn’t back at the house when I got home.
Her phone was going straight to voicemail.
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Next thing, the police were at the door and told me that my wife’s car had been hit by a van.
The one consolation was that she died instantly.
Both my family and hers started fussing around me and I couldn’t bear it.
I told both families I needed space but all I did was stay home and drink myself to oblivion. I just wanted to be alone.
I was desperate and I wrote to you, though I didn’t expect it to do any good.
You sent back a lovely email, with information about the effects of grief, and help with bereavement, as well as encouraging me to open up to my family.
I managed to talk to my sister. She was fantastic.
One of my friends also lost his wife, three years ago, so I started talking to him regularly.
We spoke about how awful it is at certain times of the year and he said he’d had counselling and how much it helped.
So I got in touch with Cruse Bereavement Care and they were brilliant.
Nothing can bring back my loved ones but at least I now feel I have a life to live.
Thank you for your help.
Although I’ll never stop thinking about them, at least my New Year’s resolution for 2024 is to allow myself to live a little.
READ MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS:
Your loss was devastating but you had the courage to reach out for help and see that you can continue your life, even if it’s now so different from what you dreamed of.
Please keep in touch, and for anyone else who would benefit from their services, Cruse Bereavement Support has plenty of help available (cruse.org.uk, 0808 808 1677).