I dream of having a threesome with another man – but worry my wife will divorce me

DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife will divorce me if I tell her I really want a threesome with another man.

I keep dreaming about it.

It’s all I think about these days.

I long to have this sexual experience.

I am a 41-year-old man.

My wife is 39.

We have been happily married for 17 years and have two boys aged 15 and 13.

Even though I love my wife I am attracted to men too.

I think I have always been curious about other men but I’ve kept these thoughts to myself.

It freaks me out that I can’t get these dreams out of my head.

I seem to read and hear almost every day about other people having threesomes.

My wife and I have a great relationship and an amazing sex life but I’ve done some research and it seems that threesomes are pretty common.

But whenever the subject has come up she has made her disapproval very clear.

I know she won’t like the idea and will refuse point blank.

I worry she will divorce me instantly.

Of course I would never force her into it but I’m not sure I can put this fantasy behind me.

DEIDRE SAYS: This may sound like fun but threesomes can destroy relationships as you can’t control real-life people and feelings like a dream.

Pressurising your partner into doing something she doesn’t want would be damaging in itself so why risk it?

There are other ways to spice things up in the bedroom.

My support pack 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex explains more.

You’re questioning your sexuality but we’re all on a spectrum rather than being on one side or the other of a sexuality fence.

If these dreams have stirred up latent gay feelings it need not lead to any life-changing decisions.

Fantasy can lead to confused feelings such as yours.

My support pack on threesomes explains.