Monday is your new Saturday morning, the start of the weekend. Once your kids are at school, you have a lazy morning of self-care (clearing your inbox) followed by brunch with friends (an all-hands meeting in the conference room with stale bagels). You round out the afternoon by spending time in nature (dozing off in a desk salad).
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To our treasured [COLLEGE / UNIVERSITY NAME] community,
This week, the unthinkable occurred on our [REVERENT ADJECTIVE] campus. An [INFLAMMATORY COLLECTIVE NOUN] overtook the historic [CENTRAL CAMPUS LOCATION NAMED AFTER PROBLEMATIC DONOR]. Thankfully, the [CAMPUS POLICE / MUNICIPAL POLICE / NATIONAL GUARD / PRIVATE MILITIA HIRED BY BILLIONAIRE FOOTBALL BOOSTERS] responded with [A DIFFERENT REVERENT ADJECTIVE] and [YET ANOTHER REVERENT ADJECTIVE] action to defend the defenseless [AFOREMENTIONED... Читать дальше...