Do Not Come To The Owner Of The House From ‘A Christmas Story’ With A Pathetic Lowball Offer

There are people who exist out there solely to own properties from movies or TV shows that, admittedly, are culturally significant and cool. Sure, who wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to live in the house from Practical Magic or go treasure hunting outside the Goonies’ property? It is a no-brainer. But your brain quickly enters the conversation when money is involved!

The latest iconic house to be up on the market is the beautiful mustard-yellow Cleveland house from A Christmas Story. But not just anyone can buy this house: you have to be willing and able to sell your soul to the trajectory of the house and its legacy. Brian Jones, the current owner of the house, says that it’s not an easy feat. “You can’t even change the paint scheme. You can’t add anything to the porches. You can’t do anything without the city’s OK. Being such a valuable asset to the city, they’re not going to allow anybody else to do that.” So what can you do? Run the gift shop!

So let’s say you’re on board with the whole thing, you want to own this iconic house and run the little gift shop with various knickknacks in the shape of leg lamps. Are you willing to pay $4 million for it? Yes? Great!

Well, that doesn’t matter, because you’d have to pay a lot more, according to Jones. “Not even close,” Jones said at a hypothetical $4M offer from Variety. “You don’t even have the money to operate this place annually. Go fish.” Jones first bought the house for nearly $100,000 in 2004, but he poured hundreds of thousands into renovations and restoration. And now that legacy has to be passed onto someone else who somehow has money, a bunch of free time, and a burning passion for Christmas legacies…if those people exist?

The final question here is this: is it really worth it to own a house from a sub-par (sorry) holiday movie? Do you want to be feverously stocking Christmas shot glasses in the middle of the night, only to look up and see a group of Ohio residents wearing bunny suits outside your front door? If you have the means, go for it! The market is bad anyway.

(Via Variety)