Despite earning more than me, my husband never pays for anything
DEAR DEIDRE: ALTHOUGH my husband is a great dad, he leaves me to pay for all our child’s essentials, and I’m now so stressed about money that it’s driving a wedge between us.
He has cash for phones, expensive headsets and football tickets. Meanwhile, I struggle to buy shoes for our daughter.
I’m 37 and he’s 39. We’ve been married for five years and our daughter is three.
We agreed to split everything 50/50 when we met, and whatever was left over was our own to spend.
That worked well until our daughter came along.
All my savings went on the things she needed as a baby.
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I’ve now gone back to work part-time, so he’s earning much more than me, yet he still only contributes half to the bills and rent, and gives me nothing for her clothes, toys or activities.
It’s making me resent him.
He plays with our daughter, reads to her, and bathes and puts her to bed, so they have a great relationship.
But sometimes I think I’d be no worse off as a single mother.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like your husband loves being a dad, but isn’t aware that it comes with financial responsibilities.
It’s not clear if you’ve told him how you feel. It may be that he’s oblivious to how much things cost and needs it spelled out to him.
If that’s the case, why not write down everything you’re spending so he can see it in black and white.
It might be wise to reconsider your 50/50 arrangement now too before it wrecks your marriage.
My support pack Family Finances has helpful information on budgeting.