Toldot parsha: Rebecca’s example of unconditional love

As Jacob leaves his parents’ home at the behest of his mother, Rebecca, the Torah declares that Rebecca was the mother of both Jacob and Esau (Genesis 28:5). At first blush, this seems to be an unnecessary statement. Anyone who has been reading the text certainly knows this fact.

Even Rashi, the greatest of commentators, writes that he does not know why the Torah mentions this. Rashi’s admission of “I do not know” reminds us that we should be prepared to admit lack of knowledge rather than deceive others.

Yet there are commentators who try to understand why the text includes the fact that Rebecca was the mother of Jacob and Esau. The most appealing view, for me, is that of Em la’Mikra, quoted by Nehama Leibowitz.

After Jacob takes the blessing, Esau is outraged. Rebecca overhears Esau’s plan to kill Jacob and therefore arranges for Jacob to leave home (27:41–43). Rebecca’s concern was clearly for Jacob’s well-being, but it is crucial to understand that she was also concerned for Esau. If Esau were to kill Jacob, not only would Rebecca’s beloved son be dead, but Esau the murderer, having committed such a heinous crime, would also have “died” in Rebecca’s eyes. This fear of losing both children is clearly reflected when Rebecca asks, “Why should I lose both of you [my children] in one day?” (27:45).

Hence, the Torah emphasizes that Rebecca is both Jacob and Esau’s mother. In other words, she insists Jacob leave not only because she loves Jacob but also because she loves Esau. She is the beloved mother of both.

This message continues to resonate today. Too often it is the case that our children rebel; they abandon values and priorities that parents hold dear. Some leave the faith or engage in behaviors that upset and even outrage parents. While parents should certainly articulate their feelings to their children, the Torah teaches that no matter the nature or the actions of the child, a parent is a parent, and love for a child must be endless and unconditional.

Like Rebecca’s love for Esau.

Candle lighting:

Toldot parsha

November 17 at 5:14 p.m.