3 ways I've changed how I shop for gifts to save money and feel good

I love feeling good about the gifts that I give, and that means shopping local and prioritizing women- and BIPOC-owned stores.

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• It's important that I don't break the bank with holiday shopping, but my values are my top priority.
• I take advantage of sales — including Black Friday. But I also shop local and go to thrift stores.
• For people who don't need more things, buying experiences is a great way to feel good giving a gift.

The holidays can be a hard time for many, myself included. There's the rush to get work wrapped up in a big red bow before taking some time off, travel plans to organize and execute, holiday parties to host or attend, a Pandora's box of societal pressures, not to mention the financial side of things.

In spite of the many challenges the holidays pose, I love Christmas. Always have. I come from a family of overly generous, thoughtful, very good gift-givers. I didn't inherit this trait, though. I've developed some helpful strategies.

My approach to holiday shopping has evolved over the years. It's becoming clearer to me that I need to align my spending first and foremost with my values (vote with my wallet, so to speak) and second with my budget.

This doesn't mean that I'm going to break the bank when it comes to gift giving, but it does mean more planning and preparation.

While I don't throw budgeting out the window around the holidays, I do prioritize feeling good about how I'm spending my money. If I can find a gift that's sustainable, good for the planet, equitable, and supports the maker, then I've found the gift that truly keeps on giving.

Here's how I'm working to make the holidays feel even warmer and fuzzier.

1. I shop during big sales — including Black Friday

Yes, this does mean that I already need to have an idea of what I'm looking for so that I'm ready when sales come up. I keep a list in my phone that I add to throughout the year. Whenever I hear one of my loved ones express a need or a desire for something, in the notes app it goes.

Or maybe I noticed that something practical is missing from their home that I think could make their life easier and hopefully more beautiful as well. Add it to the list. This way, I'm all ready to shop those good, good markdowns.

And really, who doesn't love getting a good deal? When I buy a Christmas present I know someone will actually use and appreciate, and I get it on sale, it's almost like I'm gifting it to myself. Cue the hit of dopamine.

2. I (try to) shop local and in alignment with my values

I'm increasingly putting my money where my mouth is when it comes to my spending, and gift-giving is no exception. I avoid major online retailers, fast-fashion, and products that come a long way to get to me.

Instead, I opt for local, ethical, and women- and BIPOC-owned and operated businesses. And I do my research. My sister often has a very clear idea of what she wants for Christmas. If I don't like what I learn about the company that makes what she's looking for, I put in the work to find an equivalent alternative that I can feel good about.

This approach extends to the kinds of things I put on my wish list as well. When my family asks what I'd like for Christmas or for my birthday, I give them a list of items I can actually use and feel good about. Even if I'm not spending money on the item, someone is.

Last year, I put my thrifting skills to use and gifted a few second-hand, carefully selected pieces to friends and family. They were in great condition, unique, and had history. I love thrifting and receiving thrifted items. It takes time, energy, thoughtfulness, and a good eye to find the right second-hand gift, and I am here for it.

3. I opt for experiences

For the people in my life who grow weary and overwhelmed by accumulating more things, I'm opting for experiences. I'm taking my Dad out for dinner and a dance performance as the main part of his Christmas gift this year.

We have a long-standing tradition of seeing dance shows together (he wants to go, I promise). We make a whole evening of it. At Christmastime he buys the tickets to the Nutcracker, I treat us to a nice nice dinner out, and after the show, we check out the holiday-themed windows at a downtown department store on our way home.

Of course, I still want to be able to put something under the tree for him, so I may look to buy some locally-made whiskey and chocolate truffles for him as well.