'Should I Keep Giving Birthday Money To Kids Who Never Say Thank You?'
If you send cash in a birthday card and don’t get a ‘thank you’ back – whether as a note, phone call or even a text – should you just stop sending money?
It’s the question one person has pitched to the masses on Mumsnet after embarking on a rant about kids – and, by default, their parents – who don’t say thank you for gifts.
“When I was a child, I was taught to say thank you to everyone who gave me a gift or money for my birthday,” they said. “This included picking up the phone and saying thanks to people who sent money in cards.”
The person revealed they’d given birthday money to four children in the family over the past two months – £80 in total – and not one of them had got in touch to say thanks. On top of this, none of the parents had contacted them to thank them on their child’s behalf.
“This is basic manners and it irritates me. WIBU [would I be unreasonable] to not do it in the future?” they asked.
Some were pretty outraged by the fact they hadn’t received a thanks and suggested it wouldn’t be unreasonable to stop sending money in the future.
“The parents should be saying it at least. It’s rude not to,” said one person in the comments section.
“It is rude not to thank a person for a gift,” added another. “Older kids could send a message. Parents could encourage them to do this. At the very least, parents should thank the person for the gift. It annoys me when people say that people are busy ... All that is needed is a thank you.”
There was also some recognition that children might struggle with saying thank you, but it’s not because they’re rude.
“My son says thank you in person (though finds it difficult) but finds the idea of phoning someone excruciating, same for initiating a message,” said one parent.
“He has social anxiety – he is grateful but finds it difficult to express it. I’d be very sad if people just decided he was rude.”
What does an etiquette expert think?
Etiquette expert Jo Bryant tells HuffPost UK: “Parents should encourage their children to say thank you for any present, including money.
“It makes for good habits later in life, and also helps children to understand that receiving a present is special and that someone has been kind and generous.”
When it comes to choosing between sending thank you notes or phone calls and texts, Bryant says the best option will depend on who the giver is.
