I’ve fallen in love with my married carer

DEAR DEIDRE: Having sex and falling in love with my carer was the last thing I ever expected. She says she feels the same – but she’s married.

After sustaining severe leg injuries in a car accident and being left in a wheelchair, I never thought I’d find love again. Now I’m terrified of getting emotionally hurt.

I’m 40 and two years ago, I was in a terrible multi-car collision.

I was in hospital for months, and my then partner couldn’t cope.

Eventually, she left me.

Since then, I’ve lived alone and carers come in to help me.

A few months ago, a new carer started. She is 32 and very pretty.

I used to lie in bed thinking about her. But I never dreamed she’d be interested in me.

We talked a lot and grew close. One day she confided in me that her marriage was very unhappy, and her husband was abusive.

Instinctively, I reached out and hugged her, our cuddling soon became very passionate and we had really intense sex.

She told me she was falling for me and wanted to leave him. Each time she comes now, we kiss, cuddle and end up in bed long after she’s supposed to have left.

When she leaves at night, I can’t bear thinking of her going back to him.

She feels guilty about her husband, but says once she’s divorced him, things will be different.

I love her and can see a future with her. But I can’t go through the heartbreak of being dumped again.

DEIDRE SAYS:  After losing so much, and fearing you’d never find love again, it must have felt wonderful to receive this woman’s attention.

But you are right to be wary. She is not only married, she is also your carer.

She’s overstepping professional boundaries by getting involved with you, and could end up in serious trouble if anyone finds out.

She clearly isn’t happy at home and, if her husband is abusive, she must enjoy being with a man who is kind and treats her well.

However, there’s a big leap between that and actually leaving her husband and settling down with you.

Read my support pack, Your Lover Not Free, for more on being in a relationship with someone unavailable.

Being in a wheelchair shouldn’t stop you finding love again, so don’t feel she is your last hope.