My wife lounges around all day whilst I look after our children

DEAR DEIDRE: I’ve had enough of my lazy wife, who now lies in bed all day while I do all the housework and look after our children.

She is no longer interested in sex, leaving me feeling frustrated and hurt. But I can’t tell her how I feel.

We’ve been married for ten years and have two kids, aged eight and four.

I’m 42 and she’s 39.

There’s no longer any love or affection between us, just resentment and disgust.

We barely say a word to each other and when we talk, it ends up in an argument.

I don’t know why this has happened. We used to be happy, but it feels like my wife has given up on our relationship.

I’m starting to get depressed because the situation seems so hopeless.

I also feel guilty, because my low mood affects my children. I often lash out at them, when I know this isn’t their fault.

I can’t talk to anyone. Please help.

DEIDRE SAYS: You say you’re becoming depressed, but it also sounds like your wife is depressed.

Going off sex and wanting to stay in bed all day are symptoms.

You need to talk to her. I know it’s hard, but you can’t go on like this.

It’s not good for your children.

Tell her how you feel and suggest getting professional help. Read my support pack on Depression and each make an appointment with your GP.

My pack, Looking After Your Relationship, will also help you to work on this.