My lover wants children and I can’t give them to him
DEAR DEIDRE: My lover has always wanted children, but I’m now too old to give him any.
We have a fantastic relationship, and have even talked about marriage, but I’m worried it’s a dealbreaker.
I’m 48 and going through the menopause. He is 46.
We met online, and have been seeing each other for nine months. We have both said we’ve fallen in love.
After years of terrible relationships, I think I’ve finally found “the one”.
I’ve made it clear I’m going through the menopause and cannot have kids.
It’s sad because he would have made the perfect father.
He’s reassured me that this isn’t an issue. He says it’s me he wants and if that means no kids, he’ll accept it.
I’m scared he’s lying to himself and will regret it a few years down the line.
What should I do?
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
DEIDRE SAYS: Many couples don’t have kids for various reasons, and remain happy and committed.
Your partner clearly loves you and feels you’re enough for him. It’s possible his feelings may change, but that’s the case in every relationship. Love is risky.
You can’t alter biology. And neither of you can predict the future.
What you can do is be honest and continue to communicate about this.
My support pack Looking After Your Relationship will help.