Just when our sex life was back on track I discovered my husband’s secret…
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband can’t keep his hands off me, and after two decades together, we’re having the best sex ever – after years of no intimacy.
He’s been turning up with new lingerie and sex toys for me and dragging me off to bed no matter what the time of day. I was beginning to feel like the sexiest woman alive.
But I’ve learned his newly discovered passion coincides with filthy messages between him and four other women.
I can’t believe he would betray me like this, and the worst part is that he doesn’t think that he’s done anything wrong.
I’m 48, my husband is 52 and we’ve been together for 25 years. We have two grown-up daughters.
It’s fair to say the last few years of our marriage have been tough. With constant bickering and zero sex, we were reaching a breaking point.
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I had started to lose all hope then, out of nowhere, something shifted and it felt like the man I first married was back. We started having sex as much as five times a week.
I was so happy that I didn’t even stop to wonder what had changed.
Then I noticed a Facebook message from another woman pop up on his phone.
I couldn’t help but snoop, and it turns out that she was one of four women that he was flirting with and even spelling out what he wanted to do with them sexually.
When I confronted him, he said I was being silly and as it was only online it didn’t count as cheating.
Now I can’t look at him the same way and I feel cheapened.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: He has clearly overstepped your boundaries and broken your trust.
While some people believe that texting other people isn’t as bad as physical cheating, it can still be equally as hurtful.
Know that you’re not being silly. If he’s intentionally hiding this and going behind your back then deep down he knows he’s betrayed your trust.
If you’re going to work through this then he needs to understand how much he has hurt you. Rebuilding your relationship will be impossible unless you re-establish trust.
Sit him down and explain exactly how you feel. If he’s the right one for you then he will listen openly and take your feelings on board.
My support pack Cheating – Can You Get Over It? will help, even if he hasn’t physically been unfaithful.