My two teenage children have been a nightmare since my divorce
DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE my divorce, parenting my two teenage children has become a nightmare.
Every day is an uphill battle and I’m beginning to feel like a dictator in my own home.
I’m 45, my ex-wife is 43 and we separated two years ago. We share a 13-year-old daughter and a 15-year-old son.
Before our divorce, we barely had any issues with them. They were lovely, well-behaved kids.
Yet, over the past two years our relationship has deteriorated, and they never want to listen to me.
My ex never has any problem with them, but with me, they’re hell-bent on making my life difficult.
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They constantly talk back, call me names, and ignore me when I try to talk to them.
I’ve tried to punish them, but every time they feed it back to my ex and she undermines me, telling them not to take any notice.
It’s getting to the point where we’re having screaming matches in public, and I’m at a loss for what to do.
Why do they hate me so much?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Parenting after a divorce can be tough at the best of times. Your children are probably feeling sad and angry and acting out as a result.
All the changes in their life may have probably been overwhelming and it’s likely they may feel a deep sense of loss for the life they had before.
Try to involve them in any solutions or decisions, acknowledge their feelings and in time things will get easier.
You need good boundaries, respect, and open communication with your ex-wife.
Try talking to her calmly. See if you can also agree to some shared rules and boundaries for your kids.
You can also find support through Families Need Fathers (fnf.org.uk, 0300 0300 363).