Hot Guy Sebastian Stan to Play … Donald Trump?

In bad news for people who like it when hot actors play hot people, Sebastian Stan has been cast as a young Donald Trump in a new movie. It’s okay to have questions. This news has been proven to make people ask things like, “Why?” and “Do they even look similar?” and “Is he going to do the voice?” No one has any answers, but sometimes it’s nice just to get those feelings out.

Stan will be starring in The Apprentice — which some outlets are referring to as The Student — the latest film from Iranian director Ali Abbasi. You might know Abbasi’s work from the final two episodes of The Last of Us, which he directed. Rounding out the cast are Jeremy Strong as Trump’s widely loathed mentor, prosecutor Roy Cohn, and Maria Bakalova as Ivana Trump. Bakalova as the late Mrs. Trump is admittedly kind of inspired, and I’m sure Strong will do his thing.

Trump and Cohn’s relationship began in the ’70s, when Trump was being sued by the Justice Department for violating the Fair Housing Act. Cohn represented Trump in an unsuccessful countersuit, and the two struck up a friendship that lasted until Cohn died of AIDS complications in 1986. This is presumably the plot driving The Apprentice, the logline of which teases “an exploration of power and ambition set in a world of corruption and deceit. It’s a mentor-protégé story that charts the origins of an American dynasty. Filled with larger than life characters, it reveals the moral and human cost of a culture defined by winners and losers.” It’s being written by Gabriel Sherman, the author of The Loudest Voice in the Room: How the Brilliant, Bombastic Roger Ailes Built Fox News — and Divided a Country.

Of course, I want nothing but success for all OG Gossip Girl alums, but something about Stan as Trump just doesn’t sit right. Perhaps it’s because I don’t want to watch a movie about a young, implausibly attractive Donald Trump being advised by the “snake” Roy Cohn. Or maybe it’s because I don’t want to see how Stan interprets “Trump voice.” Ideally, no one would ever be playing Trump in a movie, but since that’s not the reality we live in, I guess it can be Sebastian Stan. Good luck, king.

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