Новости за 02.04.2024

Both 13- and 17-year cicadas are due to emerge simultaneously this year for the first time since 1803, with an estimated 1 million cicadas per acre across 16 states coming out of diapause this spring. What do you think?

Donald Trump recently announced on Truth Social that he has teamed up with country music artist Lee Greenwood to sell a custom “God Bless The USA” Bible for $59.99. Here is everything we know about the bespoke religious text that the former president is hawking.

EUREKA SPRINGS, AR—Watching the soy boy miss out on countless opportunities, sources confirmed Tuesday that a local beta male on a date didn’t even try to murder the woman. “Is this limp-dicked cuck gonna strangle that chick or what?” said nearby observer Jason Lindell, noting that the effete half-male hadn’t once…

SAN DIEGO—In an ill-advised effort to reduce the costs of blow, the nation’s lapsed college friends announced plans Tuesday to mistakenly text you about splitting an eighth of an ounce of cocaine. “Although we haven’t spoken in 11 years, please be advised that at some point in the near future we will be accidentally…

YOUNGSTOWN, OH—Speaking before a crowd of loyal supporters, former President Donald Trump warned Tuesday that electric vehicles were raping and murdering American citizens. “You go to one of these charging ports, and they’ll just have their way with you,” said Trump, who accused the mainstream media of covering up…

ATLANTA—The faces of top executives falling as they gauged the public’s apathy, sources reported the Coca-Cola Company was incredibly hurt Tuesday that the nation was not going to try the new soda flavor they worked so hard on. “Seriously, you’re not even going to taste it?” said CEO James Quincey, who stood in front…